It's Not Over
by CoffeeAddict413
Summary: Takes place after season 3. Tommy goes to Thailand and Jude stays to help Jamie. They've both decided to stay together despite him leaving. The normal self-destructive disasters happen that lead them apart. There are lemons. Rewrite/Repost from years ago. Enjoy.
1. Prologue

Prologue

I don't know where the next road goes

After leaving Jamie at the new studio, NBR, Jude Harrison made her way to Tom Quincy's house to talk to him about her decision. Jude walked down the sidewalk, her hands in her pockets and the wind blowing lightly in her hair. She stopped after a few feet and stood in front of the house that Tommy lived in. Jude just stood there, staring at his front door.

Come on Jude, you can do this. He won't hate you.

"Are you just going to stand there all day?" Jude heard off to the left, her thoughts being interrupted. Jude saw Tommy coming around from the side of his house, carrying Chinese takeout. "Do you want to come in for a minute?" he asked, quirking his eyebrow.

"Uh, yeah. Sure." She replied, following him up the porch steps and entered his house. They stepped into an entryway that had a nice wood finish on the walls and floors. Tommy put the sack of food on a table by the coat closet and stripped himself of his leather jacket and slipped it into the closet. Jude took her coat off and gave it to him. Tommy picked the sack back up and led Jude down the hallway to the kitchen. He sat the sack on the counter and started to unpack the Chinese containers. Jude sat on a bar stool at the island and silently gazed at him and tried to work up the courage to tell him what he needed to do. He won't hate you. He can't hate you. Just tell him. Everything will be fine.

"Chopsticks or fork?" He asked her, interrupting her thoughts once again.

"You know what I want." Jude replied coyly. He threw a pair of chopsticks at her playfully and handed her containers of rice and orange chicken. Tommy stared at her while he took a bite of beef and broccoli. "What?" she asked, seeing that he was still staring.

"Do I know why you're here?" he asked in curious tone.

"I don't know. Do You?" Jude looked away from him and lowered her head.

"You're not coming with me, are you?" he asked in a pained voice, putting his container and chopsticks on the counter.

"No. I'm not coming with you. But there are things that we need to talk about before you leave." She replied, putting her food and chopsticks down too. Jude hopped down off the stool and walked around the counter to stand in front of Tommy. She took hold of his hands and stared up into the depths of his eyes. He stared back down at her with a confusing look. "I decided that I am going to stay here and produce at Jamie and Paegan's studio. I want to go with you but there are things that you need to workout for yourself. I know the pain and stress you've gone through lately and in your past but you're not ready for me. Not emotionally." Tommy just stood there, just staring at her, the wheels in his head turning. He let go of her hands and put his hands on her hips. "I love you, Tommy, and I'm going to wait for you to come back."

"I understand what you're saying but I really want you to come with me. I need you to come with me. Who knows how long I'll be away from you." he said sadly, a tear escaping his eye.

"You won't be away from me. You know how we've always had this connection. It's going to keep us together. When you come back to me, we'll be together, really together." Her hands went up his arms and around his neck in an embrace. His arms went around to her lower back. "I love you Tommy."

"I love you too Jude." He whispered into her ear and then kissed the spot beneath it. Jude breathed in deeply, filling herself with his scent. Her stomach doing flip flops, her heart beat speeding rapidly, feeling a tingling feeling in between her legs and in the pit of her stomach.

"Tommy, I want you, before you leave." She whispered in a throaty voice. She felt him nod his head as he slightly pulled away from her. Tommy looked into her eyes and licked his bottom lip.

"I want you too. I've never wanted anything more than to be with you. Are you sure you want to do this before I leave for god knows how long?"

"Yes, more than anything." Jude whispered, biting the bottom of his ear. Tommy groaned and lifted Jude up onto the counter and kissed her deeply. Jude kissed him back as he held her arms to her sides and held her to him. Tommy removed his grasp from her arms and moved his hands over to her soft breasts and massaged them softly. Her nipples became hard, and she moaned, their mouths still touching. Tommy pulled his face away from hers and smiled. He pulled Jude off of the counter and took her by the hand and led her up the stairs to the master bedroom. Saying nothing, they moved to the bed. He sat down on the edge and Jude came up and straddled his lap and ran her hands up and down his rock hard body, and literally ripped his favorite shirt open. Tommy looked a little shocked, but didn't seem to care as she kissed up and down his chest. He leaned back as she kissed down to the waist of his pants and undid the button and zipper. She pulled him out of his boxers and got on the floor on her knees in front of him, and wrapped her mouth around him. Tommy closed his eyes and moaned as she pulled him all the way into her warm mouth. Jude used her hand to massage his testicles and moved her mouth up and down on his now fully hard member. Tommy's legs started to shake violently.

"Babe, you keep going and you're gonna have a throat full of cum", he said breathlessly. Jude just smiled and kept going. Not even a minute later, he let out a long and loud moan as he exploded inside her mouth. She swallowed the substance in one gulp and removed him from her mouth and gave the tip a little kiss. They both stood up and stripped each other slowly. Tommy, taking Jude's shirt and unbuttoning it, peeling it away from her. Tommy grabbed her by the hips and started to unbuckle her belt and pull her jeans down her legs. Jude pulled his pants down his legs while she kissed his chest and bit lightly at his nipples. Tommy reached behind her and undid her bra and pulled it from her arms gently, trailing kisses across her shoulders and chest. They kissed passionately as they lowered themselves onto the bed again. Tommy laid Jude down and looked into her eyes lovingly.

"I love you." Jude looked back up at him.

"I love you, too" She whispered back. He kissed her gently and stood up on his knees and leaned over to the bedside table and rummaged around in it.

"Shit!" he said low under his breath.

"What's wrong?" Jude asked as she sat up on her elbows. Tommy turned to her and looked down in shame.

"I don't have any protection." He said slowly. He looked up at her and thought that he would see a look of disappointment. He saw the exact opposite. Jude sat up all the way and pulled him toward her.

"It's ok. I'm on the pill." Jude saw the look of surprise and disappointment on Tommy's face. "Don't worry, you're my first and I'm on the pill because it helps regulate my monthly visitor." Jude chuckled slightly. Tommy let out a low breath and leaned back over Jude with a smile and kissed her deeply.

Tommy slowly pulled her black lacy boy shorts down her hips and spread her legs wide, rubbing his hands down the soft skin of her inner thighs. Jude closed her eyes, enjoying her love's gentle touch. Tommy got on his knees in between her legs, positioned his member at her opening. He started pumping in and out of her slowly, watching her face for any indication that she was in pain. With one hand, he lifted her leg onto his shoulder, the other rubbing her swollen clit. She moaned softly and he he took that as a que to pump even harder. He pushed into her, the momentum making her moan louder and louder. Tommy then grabbed her by the waist and pulled her onto his lap as he sat at the headboard. They kissed passionately as she used her legs and hips to spring on top of him, pushing him into her as he pressed his pelvis into her body to penetrate the best he could. She ripped her mouth from his and started moaning loudly. Tommy grabbed Jude's waist and pushed her down onto him hard as her walls closed tighter around him. Moments later, Jude could feel her muceles clench, building up to an orgasm, as Tommy was ready to cum deep inside her. They both moaned louder, and louder, until they both undone, him pumping his juices inside of her while hers mixed with his. She put her arms around his neck as he wrapped his arms around her waist. Her body collapsed against his, and he kissed her all over her face and neck. They lay down on the bed facing each other, still breathing hard. Tommy pulled a blanket over their still naked bodies, kissed her softly, and fell peacefully asleep with her wrapped in his arms.

* * *

The next morning Tommy stirred in the morning sunlight realizing that the night before had been a dream come true for him. He looked down at her, still asleep in his arms. Her hair covering her eyes and her hands linked with his. Tommy breathed in deeply as he appreciated the smell of her sweat mixed in with his. He had never been happier in his entire life than he had been at that moment. Jude started to stir and tilted her head up to see Tommy smiling down at her.

"Hi." She whispered.

"Hi." He whispered back. He leaned down slightly and kissed her softly. Tommy pulled her tighter against him and he sighed deeply. "I don't want to get up but I have to. My plane leaves in a few hours."

"I know. How about we get up, take a shower, go have breakfast, and I'll take you to the airport?"

"Sounds like a plan." He replied. Kissing her softly again. Tommy got out of bed and pulled Jude with him into the bathroom.

Tommy and Jude were standing in the terminal of the airport. Sitting in the waiting area for his plane to board, Tommy was holding Jude's hand, caressing the top of her hand with his thumb.

"Are you sure you don't want come with me?" he asked, trying to charm her with his smile. Jude fully turned to him and smiled back.

"I'm sure. You need to do this on your own. I'll be here in this very spot waiting for you when you get home." She stated and kissed him softly.

"So, I take it that what we did last night was sealing the deal?" He asked with a grin.

"Yeah. A promise."

"Red Eye Flight 578, Toronto to Bangkok, Thailand; now boarding. Please have your boarding pass ready." A voice stated over the intercom.

"Well, that's me." He said, standing up and pulling Jude with him. Tommy encircled his arms around her and held her tightly against him. "I'll miss you, so much." He kissed her head and slightly pulled away to look in her eyes. "I love you Harrison. And I will be coming home to you."

"I love you too Quincy. Call me when you land so I know you got there safely." Jude replied with a smile. Tommy leaned down and kissed her hard and passionately.

"Goodbye." He whispered. Tommy let go of her and turned around to grab his carry-on and walked toward the door that led to the plane. Before he entered the tunnel, he turned in her direction and gave her a sad smile.


	2. Chapter 1: Part 1

Chapter One:

This is how I feel

Part One

One month since Tommy left (4 full weeks)

To: Jude Harrison

From: Tom Quincy

Subject: Working on it

_Dear Jude,_

_ I don't know if this email is going to relieve in any way the sheer agony of being away from you, but I would like you to know that I'm missing you like crazy!_

_ Right now I am sitting by a small pond and have been trying to make sense of my life so far. I'm trying to forget about what everyone else thinks I should do. The biggest obstacle is trying to un-mold myself from other people's expectations; it's hard trying not to disappoint the people close to me, especially you. As long as I continue to exist to fulfill other people's ideas of who I should be, I'll never know who I want to be in the end. I'll come home to you soon. I'm sorry this is so short but I had to tell you that I miss you. I love you. _

_Love always,_

_ T.Q._

Jude walked into NBR studios. It had been a month since Tommy had left and Jude had been trying to stay busy to keep from going crazy from his absence. Jude walked straight to her office and put her bag on the top of her desk and sat down heavily in her chair. She looked at who she had scheduled in the studio that day and sighed in frustration. She was producing Astrophel, a hard rock band that she had found at a battle of the bands at The Chain three weeks before. The lead singer, Miles, had been repeatedly asking her out on dates, to which she had refused constantly. Not that she thought he was desperate in any way, because he was pretty hot, he could've had anyone, considering Jude kept hearing the female co-workers talk about how hot he is constantly. She had her mind on one man and one man only.

A knock on the door interrupted Jude's thoughts. She looked up from her schedule and saw the man that had been trying to capture her interest. Miles stood in her doorway leaning on the frame. He had a huge case of bed head going on, which looked really good on him at the moment. He squinted his light blue eyes and smirked at her. Dressed in faded jeans and a Metallica t-shirt, Miles looked pretty inviting, especially with his scruffy 5 o'clock shadow.  
"I know that look on your face. You're probably dreading another long afternoon in the studio with me. Right?" he stated, taking a few steps into the room and sitting in the chair in front of her desk. Jude looked at him with an amused smile.

"You got me. How did you know that I dread spending endless hours with you?" she asked coyly.

"I guess I just know you too well."

"Yeah. Sure. We've only known each other for three weeks. How well do you know me?" She asked, sitting up straight and folding her arms across herself.

"Well, why do you think I keep asking you out? I want to get to know you better. And you won't let me. So I think I know you well enough to know that you try and avoid me. The thing is; I don't understand why. From what I hear, you don't have a boyfriend. You live with your father and sister. You had a fling awhile back with a washed up boybander who was your former producer. And I know he hurt you a lot. Is that why you won't go out on a date with me? You think I'm going to hurt you?"

At this point Jude was quite irritated. _How did he know about Tommy? Kwest and Sadie aren't home yet. Jamie? Jamie wouldn't tell him would he?_ Jude pushed away from the desk and stood up. She walked around the desk and stood next to Miles, who in turn stood up from his chair and faced her. The scowl on her face made it known that she was livid.

"That is none of your business. What happened between me and my old producer is none of your concern. I'm going to go talk to Jamie, and I will meet you in Studio 2 in fifteen minutes. Make sure Shawn and Jake are on time this time." Jude replied and walked out of the room.

Miles just stood there, astonished. He knew that she would be mad when she knew that he knew about that certain boybander. But he was trying his hardest to get close to her. He walked over behind the desk and stared at the pictures she had framed. There were three on the left side and two on the right side. The first on the left was a picture that he assumed was her family. Her father and sister and Jude sitting in between them. The second one was of her and Jamie. And the third was of her and from what he knew was her backup band SME. Miles turned to the right and saw two pictures of her and Boybander. The first he recognized was from Jude's early career as a redhead. She was standing next to her then producer. For some reason, he couldn't bare to say the has-been's name. The second one was recent. A picture of her and boybander. The picture looked as if it had originated from a camera phone. Her arm was outstretched as she and him smiled happily into the lens. Miles turned away from the desk in disgust and walked out of the office.


	3. Chapter One: Part Two

Chapter One:

This is how I feel

Part Two

Second Month Gone (8 full weeks)

To: Jude Harrison

From: Tom Quincy

Subject: Suffering

_Dear Jude,_

_Getting away from the expectations, the conversations, the noise, the media and the pressure is easy to get used to. I take time each day to go on a long walk and think. I plant myself on a bench, or on the ground at a pond or in the sand on the beach, contemplating on my life and where I want to go. I mostly think about you. How much I love you and miss and want to be with you at this very moment. _

_I look back on my life and think of the actions and choices I regretted making, and then came to realize that if I hadn't made some of those choices then I wouldn't have met you. I do regret being a bad husband to Portia by not treating her right and cheating on her. I fear that when I do come home I will make the same mistakes with you. But then I know deep down that I love and feel more for you than anyone that I have ever known and know that I won't hurt you in that way. _

_I don't know when we will get to see each other again, but considering the huge period of time I have been away from you, I can already see the light from the tunnel. The day in which I come back for good is coming. I guarantee that there will be nothing else in the world capable of keeping us apart for such a long time. Only, when I return will you know how much I've missed you, how much I suffered and how much I've longed for you. The moment I see you again will certainly be the happiest in my life. The expectation for this reencounter has left me to count how many more problems I have that I still have left unheeded. Life has for us moments of agony and sadness, the same way I feel being away from you. But I can confirm that the happiness of our reunion will make up for the sadness I feel without you. I know you're waiting anxiously for my return. I miss you. I love you._

_Love,_

_T.Q._

Jude had been waiting in the studio for over half an hour for Astrophel to come in and record. She sat in her chair facing the soundboard, re-reading Tommy's email. He had been gone two months. She knew that he needed a lot of time to figure out himself and fight his inner demons. She didn't think he would take two full months. Jude was at least happy that he was sending her letters to let her know how he had progressed. She missed him so much that it hurt. She would go home, and drink a glass of wine or champagne, or whatever her dad had in the liquor cabinet. Drinking herself into a dreamless sleep. When she would wake up the next morning, she would blame herself for his absence. _I told him to go. I did this to myself. _

"Whatcha reading?" Sadie stood in the doorway of the studio holding a file folder of papers and a cup of coffee. Jude looked up from the laptop and smiled at her sister. Jamie had given Sadie a much better paying job at NBR than what Darius was paying her. Thanks to all of the sponsers, Paegan's connections, and big wigs that didn't like Darius. No longer was Sadie a receptionist, she was head of the PR department and fashion coordinator. Kwest stayed at G Major, producing. After they had come back from Mexico, they had moved in together.

"It's the latest email from Tommy. It came in last night while I was sleeping. He's still doing okay. At least I know he's still alive." Sadie came in further and sat in the chair next to Jude.

"These are for you, they are the monthly reports and also you need to sign the final agreements on Miles' songs before they go in the completed album." She stated, while handing the pile of papers to Jude. Sadie looked around the room and noticed that Jude was in there alone. "Why are you in here? I thought that you would be at the photo shoot for Astrophel's album cover."

"Oh, is that right now? I was in here waiting for them. But now I know where they are." Jude said nonchalantly.

"Did you not get the updated schedule I put on your desk this morning?" Jude shook her head and continued to go over the papers. "You know, Miles keeps asking me about you." Jude looked up quickly with a look of shock.

"Why?"

"Because he likes you. He wants to take you out on a date. He kept asking me what food you liked and what your favorite color was. Then he tried to get all psychological and started to ask why you don't date and why you won't go out with him. He knows there's something up with Tommy. I caught him and Jamie talking about the two of you."

"Still? I told Jamie to stop talking about me and Tommy to other people, especially Miles, weeks ago. I'm going to put an end to this once and for all." Jude admonished as she got up from her chair and stormed out of the studio.

* * *

"Just so you know Jude's on her way down there to ream into you two." Jamie read aloud the text message that Sadie had sent him. Jamie and Miles were standing in the photographer's studio, Miles getting ready to be photographed and Jamie waiting to give his opinion on the photos.

"You mean she's here to ream into us." Miles said, nodding in the direction of the studio doors. Jude stood there, roaming the room, looking for her targets. Jude spotted them and made her way over.

"Oh shit." Jamie muttered and stood behind Miles. Jude came up to them and gave them a look of anger.

"Miles, Jamie, I would like to speak with you for a minute." Jude said, rather calmly. Jamie slowly stepped from behind Miles and stood next to him but stared at the ground. "You," Jude started and pointed at Jamie, "Need to stop talking to other people about me and my past. If people want to know me or know about me, they can come and talk to me. My life is not yours to tell." Jude rattled and then turned to Miles, "And you, I'm flattered that you're trying to get to know what I like and keep asking me out in hopes that I might agree, but like I said to Jamie, if you want to know me and my history, you come talk to me personally, not find out from second or third parties. Understand?" Jamie and Miles nodded in agreement and stared at Jude. "And I guess while I'm here, I'll stay for the photo shoot and give my opinion as well." Jude said.

"Um, okay. We're about to start." Miles said amusingly and turned so Jude and Jamie can follow him. He had never met a woman with so much spunk in her. Jude yelling at him only wanted him to work harder to get her to go out with him. Miles found Jake and Shawn by the refreshment table and told them that they were ready to shoot. Jude and Jamie sat down in some chairs in clear view of the set.

Throughout the entire photo shoot, Miles kept eyeing Jude, not really keeping it discreet. Jude knew that he kept glancing at her and knew that she had to do something to tone down his eagerness to take her out. Although Jude wasn't attracted to Miles, she couldn't help to stare at his opened button-down shirt and stare at his hard chest and six-pack abs. His messy hair, like Tommy's, was quite a turn on, even the light scruffy beard on his face made Jude squirm a little.

_Stop staring at him like that. Ever since Tommy left, you've been sexually frustrated. Don't worry; he'll be home soon to fix that little problem. _Jude thought to herself.

"Jude, are you alright?" Jamie asked, shaking her arm a little.

"Yeah, I'm ok. Just a little tired." Jamie stared at her, not believing her.

"Are you sure? Did you hear from Tommy again?" He put his hand back on her arm and squeezed it.

"Yeah. He's alright, but he still doesn't know when he is going to come home." Jude said sadly. They didn't know that Miles was done taking photos and was now standing behind them, listening to them. "I just don't know what to do anymore. I miss him so much and I feel like I can't wait for him anymore. I understand that he has problems that he is trying to work out and I feel so guilty by making him go and I feel so bad for not going with him." Jude started to cry as she held her head in her hands. Jamie put his arm around her and hugged her softly. At that moment Miles realized that he had been pushing Jude too hard. He turned around and walked to the dressing room to get back into his normal clothing.

When Miles came out of the dressing room, he noticed Jude and Jamie waiting for him. Jake and Shawn followed him. They followed Jude and Jamie out to the parking lot.

"Uh, I think I'm going to ride with Jude, if that's okay." He said, eyeing Jude. She shrugged before getting into her mustang. Miles opened the door and sat in the passenger seat and pulled on his seatbelt. "Do you want to go grab something to eat before we head back to the studio?" Miles asked with a smile. Jude turned her head to look at him, giving him a stern look. "Just to hang out, I promise I won't consider it as a date. Far from a date." Jude snickered a little and turned to smile at him. She pulled into the parking lot of her favorite French café.

Sitting at the little round table by the window waiting for the server to bring their order, Miles was staring at Jude.

"Jude, I just want to say that I'm sorry." Jude took a sip of her water and put it down on the table.

"Sorry for what?"

"For pushing you to go out with me. Um, earlier, I kind of overheard what you and Jamie were talking about, how you were waiting for Tom Quincy to come home. Jamie never told me you were waiting for him, and now I feel guilty for pushing you. I didn't understand why wouldn't go out with me, when every other female at our work were throwing themselves at me. But now it makes sense. You're taken." Miles stated firmly.

Jude sat silently in her chair, taking a sip of water every now and then. She didn't want anybody besides her inner circle of family and friends to know that she was waiting for him, for she thought that the outside world, including Miles, would think her pathetic.

"Do you want to talk about it? I mean, if you need a fresh pair of ears to listen to you, I'm here. I would like to be friends, Jude." He said softly, reaching across the table and holding her hand. Jude looked down at his hand covering hers and felt butterflies in her stomach. Jude's cell started to ring the familiar "White Lines" jingle, letting her know Tommy was finally calling her. She removed her hand from Miles' and grabbed her phone quickly.

"I'm sorry. I have to take this." Jude whispered and got up from the table and walked outside into the refreshing breeze. She looked at her still ringing phone and answered it. "Hello?"

"Jude?" Tommy's faint voice asked.

"Tommy." She replied softly.

"Jude, I miss you so much." He said his voice cracking.

"I miss you too. When are you coming home?"

"I don't think I am." At his statement, Jude stood straight, not believing him.

"What do you mean you think you're not coming home?"

"I realized that I'm never going to be enough for you and that you deserve better than me. I'm never going to be emotionally ready for us. You need and deserve much more than I can give you."

* * *

Miles was sitting at the table; staring out the window at Jude. He watched as her face went from uncertainty to complete and udder devastation. He wondered who it was that was making such an effect on her. _It must be Quincy. _As soon as he saw her drop her phone to the ground, Miles got up from his chair and walked out to Jude. She was leaning against the brick wall, tears falling violently down her cheeks. Miles walked to her and grabbed her hands, pulling her to him in an embrace.

Miles took Jude's hand and led her to her mustang. She got into the passenger side and buckled up while Miles went to the driver's side and did the same. He started the car and turned onto the road in the direction of his townhouse.

Miles pulled up to the curb and got out of the car and quickly went to the passenger side to help Jude out of the car. He held her hand as he led her to the front door. He unlocked it and ushered her inside and made her sit on his couch in the living room.

"What are we doing here?" Jude asked, finally speaking.

"I thought maybe you wanted to get away from the real world. Do you want to talk about it?" he asked, kneeling down in front of her and looking up into her face. She nodded. "I'll be right back. I'm just going to go get some water okay?" Miles got up and went into the kitchen. He grabbed his phone out of his pocket and sent a text to Jamie and Sadie.

_Cancel our studio time. Jude is w/ me and something happened over a phone call. She's ok but I think she needs some time alone B4 anyone talks 2 her._

He grabbed two bottles of water from the fridge and walked back into the living room. Jude was still sitting on the couch. Miles sat down next to her and handed her a bottle of water. She set it on the table and stared at the wall in front of her.

"He said that he's not coming home." She whispered sadly. "I pushed him to go to Asia by himself; I told him to work out his problems and fight his inner demons and told him that I would be waiting for him when he got back. I am so foolish. I should've gone with him. Then maybe I wouldn't be here, alone. He wouldn't be in Asia, alone." Jude put her face in her hands and started to cry again. Miles slid his arm over her and pulled her close. He laid back against the couch and pulled Jude halfway on top of him. She was still crying, clinging to Miles' sides and holding her face to his chest. He rubbed her back in gentle circles with one hand and stroked her hair with the other. After a few minutes, her breathing deepened and he looked down on her. Jude's eyes were closed tightly in a deep slumber.

* * *

Hours later, Miles stirred from his sleep, noticing that Jude was no longer sleeping on him. He sat up, looked around and heard movement from the kitchen. Miles got up and followed the noises, finding Jude sitting at the island counter on one of the barstools, writing.

"Hi." Miles said softly. Jude looked up at him for a moment and went back to writing on the paper. Miles walked up behind her and peered over her shoulder. "Mind if I take a look?" Jude shrugged her shoulders and let Miles take the paper. He read over it and nodded his head. "This is good. I like it. Would you mind if I helped you with the music?" Jude hesitated for a few minutes, contemplating on whether or not she should let him in her little world.

"No, I wouldn't mind." She said, taking the paper back and watched him exit the room to go get his guitar.


	4. Chapter One: Part Three

Chapter One:

This is how I feel

Part 3

3 weeks later (11 weeks since Tommy left)

Jude walked into her office and sat down at her desk. She stared at her phone for awhile before gathering the courage to call her manager. She picked up the phone with a shaky hand and dialed his phone number. It had been months since she last saw Darius, but she needed to get her song out. G-Major had re-opened after a month and the board of directors reinstated Darius as president. They decided to bring him back because he made them so much more money than before.

"Darius Mills."

"Hey D, it's Jude." She said, after taking a deep breath.

"And to what do I owe this pleasure?"

"I have a song that I want to record. It's a duet I wrote with the lead singer of one of the bands I am producing. I want to record it for my third album and hopefully have it out as a single." Jude stated as she stood up and paced her office. As she was on the phone, Miles came in and leaned on the doorway and listened to her conversation.

"Well, I do have some spare time today. I'll come down to NBR and check out your song. If I like it, I'll let you put it out. I'll be there around three." Darius cited and then hung up the phone. Miles sauntered into the room and sat down in the chair.

"So, the big Mills himself. I heard that his dear little sister is a murderer. Is that true?" Jude stared at Miles from the corner of her eyes and just nodded. Miles understood her quietness on the details and decided to switch the topic. "So, this song is going to go on your album?"

"Well Yeah, my lyrics. Why wouldn't it go on my album?" She asked, sitting back down at her desk.

"Well, I've listened to your music before, and this song isn't normally your style. It's more like mine. So, wouldn't it make sense to put it on my album?"

"So? What if I want my listeners to hear a different side of me? A more angst side. And just because I haven't worked on my album for months, doesn't mean that I'm not going to finish it." Miles stood up from his chair and walked over next to Jude. Jude stood up and stared up at him in defiance.

"Angst? You know, I heard your song, Skin, so I think your listeners already knows. All right. If you really want the song on the album, you can have it. I have much better songs up my sleeve." He winked and turned to walk out of the room, leaving Jude speechless.

* * *

It was two fifty-five P.M. Jude was setting up the equipment in Studio 4 when Jamie walked in with Darius. Jude stepped out of the recording booth to greet her manager.

"Darius, nice to see you again." Jude said, holding out her hand. Darius pushed her hand to the side and gave her a hug.

"Jude. Long time no see. So, you have a song you would like to release?" Darius asked, wasting no time at all.

"Yeah, I do. It's not my normal genre of music but it shows a different side of me. A side that I think my listeners might be pleasantly surprised to hear, and something they could connect to." Darius nodded in approval and sat down on the couch that lined the wall. "We're just waiting for Miles, Jake and Shawn."

"So, those are the guys you are producing?"

"Yeah, they're great. Their first single is still in the top ten over the last 2 months. They're really hardcore rock but I think you'll like them." Jude stated, nodding her head and standing next to Jamie.

"Have you heard from Quincy? I hear he is still in Asia somewhere." As soon as he said 'Quincy' Jude had to lean against Jamie to keep from falling. She was still devastated from his phone call from the week before. Knowing that he was never coming home had hit her hard. Luckily she had Miles to fall back on. Writing the song with him had brought them closer, from producer/artist to friends. Just talking to someone with a fresh mind and open ears helped her out completely and made her feel a little better. Jude turned to Darius and looked him in the eye.

"Uh yeah. I just talked to him a few weeks ago. He said he's not coming back." Jude said quietly under her breath. Darius looked at her in confusion and then in disbelief. At that moment Miles, Shawn, and Jake walked into the studio. Jude Quickly walked over to Miles and pushed him toward Darius. "Miles, this is Darius Mills. Darius this is Miles Davenport, lead singer and guitarist of Astrophel. This is Shawn Stevens, the bassist, and Jake Anderson, the drummer. This is Darius, my manager and president of the record label G-Major." Jude stated quickly, pushing all three guys towards Darius so they could shake his hand. Miles looked at Jude sideways and walked up to her.

"Are you ready?" he asked, putting his hand on her shoulder. Jude nodded. She led the band into the recording booth and took their respective places.

"Jude, what's the name of your song?" Darius asked over the intercom.

"Broken." Jude lifted her hand and motioned her fingers to Miles, motioning that she was ready for him to start. Miles started to strum his guitar.

_I wanted you to know I love the way you laugh  
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain away  
I keep your photograph; I know it serves me well  
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain_

**_'_****_Cause I'm broken when I'm open  
And I don't feel like I am strong enough  
'Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome  
And I don't feel light when you're gone away_**

**The worst is over now and we can breathe again  
I wanna hold you high, you steal my pain away  
There's so much left to learn, and no one left to fight  
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain**

**_'_****_Cause I'm broken when I'm open  
And I don't feel like I am strong enough  
'Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome  
And I don't feel right when you're gone away_**

**_'_****_Cause I'm broken when I'm open  
And I don't feel like I am strong enough  
'Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome  
And I don't feel light when you're gone away_**

Darius stood there, staring at Jude through the glass.

"Jude, that was great. I think it should go on your album. Put it out as a single. I'll need all of you to come to G-major tomorrow to sign some paper work and we'll discuss the studio and recording arrangement."

"Thank you, D. We'll come by tomorrow. "Jude said through the mic and watched Darius walk out of the room.

"Guys, that song was awesome. Jude, you need to get Darius to let you record that here, in our studio."

"I'll try my best, Jamie." Jude said as she walked out of the recording booth and out of the studio.

* * *

Over the next week Jude had convinced Darius to let her record it at NBR and now they were in the works of doing a music video. Jude hadn't done a music video in years, not since Waste My Time she did with Shay. Miles and Jude were sitting in chairs near the costume trailer. They were shooting the music video on a sandy beach near a beautiful lake.

"Are you nervous?" Miles asked her, sitting in his chair and taking a drink of water. Jude turned her head sideways and looked at him.

"Why would I be nervous? It's just a kiss. I've kissed many guys before you. Would you like a list?"

"No thanks, but have you ever kissed a guy like me? I, on the other hand, confess that I am a little nervous. "

"Why?"

"Do you really want to know?" Jude nodded her head. "Because I like you. A lot. This past week that we've been hanging out together has made me feel certain feelings for you. And I don't know how you feel about me." Miles finished. Jude looked at him with a shocked face. She definitely didn't see this coming. Not so soon anyway. Before Jude could answer, Darius made his way over to them.

"Are you guys ready to take your places?" Darius asked. They both nodded and got up from their chairs and followed him to the set. The band had their instruments set up and Jude walked behind the microphone stand. The lake setting a gorgeous view behind them as the music started to play over the speakers as Miles and Jude lip-synced their words. After filming the whole band together, the director of the video wanted Jude and Miles to sing their separate parts while walking the edge of the lake.

"Jude, you were wonderful. Now, all we need is the last part where you and Miles meet at the edge and kiss. I want you to make it look passionate. Do you think you can do that?" The director asked, looking down at Jude.

"Yeah. I'll do my best." Jude said, taking her place, yards away from Miles. The music started again and they lip-synced the words as they walked slowly toward each other. They came half a foot from each other and stared in each others eyes. Miles reached his arms out slowly and took hold of her hands and pulled her body against his. He trailed his hands up her arms, along her shoulders, gently caressed her neck and placed his warms hands on her flushed cheeks. Jude could feel his breath on her lips as he inched his face closer. Their noses rubbed and then Miles went in for the kiss, gentle at first, until Jude put her arms around his middle and held him close. Miles took the incentive and kissed her harder, slipping his tongue in between her lips. Jude accepted him graciously and held him tighter against her. Ever since Tommy had called her, Jude had been opening up to Miles more and more each day. They had started to take lunches together and had started to write music together as well. As much as Jude loved Tommy, she knew she had to get over him, and in her mind, the sooner the better. And Miles was helping her accomplish that. Miles gently pulled away from her and looked into her eyes and smiled.

"Cut! That's a rap!" The director shouted. Everyone on the set cheered and started to clean up the equipment. Miles and Jude were still staring at each other.

"Jude," Miles whispered.

"Yeah?" Jude replied softy.

"Will you go to dinner with me?" he asked sincerely. Jude nodded her head and Miles smiled.

"Yeah, that sounds good." Jude said smiling happily. Jude grabbed his hand and they started to walk to the costume trailer to get dressed and leave.

(Broken; by Seether/Amy Lee)


	5. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

You make it harder than it has to be

Three months (15 Weeks since Tommy left)

"Where is Jude? She was supposed to be here half an hour ago?" Jamie asked, walking into the studio where Astrophel were waiting for Jude. Miles was lying on the couch, reading an old issue of Rolling Stone, Shawn had his bass on his lap, tweaking the chords, and Jake was in the recording booth hashing it out on his drums.

"She called me. She said she was running late. She had to stop at G-Major to talk to Darius. I think she was going to talk to him about finally finishing her third album." Miles said, turning a page. Jamie walked further into the room and sat down in a chair next to Shawn.

"Are you serious?"

"Yeah. I mean she hadn't come outright and said it but, she's been working on her music non-stop ever since we got together. I've helped her with a few songs and helped her with a few demos at her rehearsal space. But she never said anything specific to me. I know she'll tell us in time. Be patient my friend." Miles stated. He sat up and took a drink of his soda. Jamie just stared at him. "What?"

"You're screwed." Jamie said. Miles looked at him curiously.

"What do you mean?" Miles asked, leaning toward Jamie, resting his elbows on his knees.

"Jude has this cycle. Whenever a certain somebody breaks her heart, she clings to her closest guy friend and starts to date him. In the beginning she's the perfect girlfriend, but whenever she gets close to that certain somebody again, she starts to tune you out until you dump her. That's what I had to do. But there were other issues to our relationship than just him. But it's exactly what she did to Speiderman."

"Did I just hear my name?" They heard. Miles, Jamie and Shawn, who was still sitting quietly, playing with the bass, turned toward the doorway and saw Vincent Speiderman.

"Hey Speid!" Jamie said excitedly, jumping out of his chair and giving Speid a handshake and a man-hug at the same time. "Long time, no see."

"Hey Jamester. I know, it's been a few months. Karma and I have been a shooting that newlywed show for MTV. We're taking a break for a week right now so I thought we should come and visit. Do you know where Jude is? I've been looking for her everywhere!" he said, exasperated.

"She should be here soon. She had to go to G-Major to talk to Darius." Miles interjected. He stood and put his hand out to shake. "I'm Miles Davenport. Apparently, Jude's current rebound."

"Did I miss something? I thought Jude decided to stay with you because she's producing on your label." Speid stated to Jamie. Jamie just shook his head, chuckling.

"No. Way off. Sit down. It's a long story." Speid went and sat down on the couch next to Miles and made himself comfortable. Jamie leaned back in the chair and took a deep breath.

"So, the morning after Jude's rooftop performance, she came here to look for me. She accepted my offer for the producing job but declined my offer of being my girlfriend. She told me that she was going to give Quincy another chance; her words were I feel that this time is right. Now we're both willing to work for it and I'm in love with him. And then she left here and went to his place. After that, she sent him off to Asia alone to work on himself and his inner demons; she told him that when he came back, they would finally be together. A little over a month ago, he called her and told her that he wasn't coming back and to get over him. During the time he's been gone, Jude has produced Astrophel, and she and Miles became friends. Miles here, asked Jude to be his girlfriend three weeks ago and she accepted. So, I was telling Miles how screwed he was because of Jude's boyfriend cycle." Jamie rambled. Speid looked to the left and stared at Miles, shaking his head and smirking.

"You're screwed"

* * *

_I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut  
My weakness is that I care too much  
And my scars remind me that the past is real  
I tear my heart open just to feel_

_Drunk and I'm feeling down  
And I just wanna be alone  
I'm pissed cause you came around  
Why don't you just go home  
Cause you channel all your pain  
And I can't help you fix yourself  
You're making me insane  
All I can say is_

_I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut  
My weakness is that I care too much  
And our scars remind us that the past is real  
I tear my heart open just to feel_

_I tried to help you once  
Against my own advice  
I saw you going down  
But you never realized  
That you're drowning in the water  
So I offered you my hand  
Compassions in my nature  
Tonight is our last stand_

_I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut  
My weakness is that I care too much  
And our scars remind us that the past is real  
I tear my heart open just to feel_

_I'm drunk and I'm feeling down  
And I just wanna be alone  
You shouldn't ever come around  
Why don't you just go home?  
Cause you're drowning in the water  
And I tried to grab your hand  
And I left my heart open  
But you didn't understand  
But you didn't understand  
Go fix yourself_

_I can't help you fix yourself  
But at least I can say I tried  
I'm sorry but I gotta move on with my own life  
I can't help you fix yourself  
But at least I can say I tried  
I'm sorry but I gotta move on with my own life_

_I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut  
My weakness is that I care too much  
And our scars remind us that the past is real  
I tear my heart open just to feel_

_I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut  
My weakness is that I care too much  
And our scars remind us that the past is real  
I tear my heart open just to feel_

"Jude, that was awesome." Darius stated as Jude stopped the demo on her laptop. She sat straight in her chair and took a deep breath. "I'm actually surprised that you want to get back in the studio and finish your album. I was quite pleased this morning to find out that the music video for Broken has been making its way quickly up the charts and has stayed up there."

"Good. So, I'll be coming in Monday through Friday from nine A.m. to two P.m. to record and produce the rest of my album. The rest of my time will be producing Astrophel and a few other artists at NBR. Do we have a deal?"

"Deal." Darius beamed and stood up to shake Jude's hand. "Anything for my number one artist."

* * *

"Speid!" Jude screamed as she walked through the door and then ran to hug him.

"It's great to see you! " Speid said, pulling her away and holding her at arms length.

"Wow! It's been a while. How is the show coming along with Karma?" Jude asked, sitting down on the couch next to Miles as Speid sat on the arm.

"It's not as bad as I thought it would be. She does have her diva fits every once in a while but she tends to make up for it later on." He said, winking his eye.

"Eww. Bad picture." Jamie said, squinting his eyes close and putting his head in his hands. All of a sudden Jude stood up and smiled happily.

"I have great news." Everyone looked up at her. "I'm going back to G-major part time to finish my album. And after that, Darius is sending me on tour for five months. Jamie, as Astrophel's manager, Darius will be calling you to ask if he could have them come on tour with me and be my opening act." She said, unsure of anyone's reaction.

"Are you serious?!" Miles asked, standing up and embracing her. "That is so awesome."

"That's great! But I won't be able to help you finish your album. The tour I can do, but the album I can't do because of the show." Speid pointed out. Jude turned to speid.

"That's fine. I actually knew you would say that so," turning back to miles "I am asking you if you want to fill in for him on my album. I know you're not as good as him but…." She said, winking at Speid.

"Do you really have to ask?" Miles asked, pulling her toward him and kissing her lightly. Jude sat back down, pulling Miles with her.

"I already called Kyle and Wally. So we'll be starting Monday morning at nine. Before you start, you need to look over the contract. And Jamie, you can look over the contract for the joint tour." Jude said happily, finally feeling like her life is slowly coming back together.

* * *

Later on that night, Miles pulled up to the Harrison home and got out of the car with two flower bouquets and a bottle of wine. A bright blue SUV pulled up behind Miles' car and a dark skinned man got out, carrying two bouquets of flowers and a bottle of wine as well. They both walked to the beginning of the sidewalk that led up to the front door. They stopped and looked at each other. They walked up to the door together as Miles knocked and the other man touched the button for the doorbell. Sadie opened the door and let the two men in.

"These are for you." Kwest said, handing Sadie one of the bouquets and leaning in to kiss her.

"Thank you." She said and turned to Miles. "Hi Miles. Jude is in the kitchen."

"Uh, these are for you too." Miles said, awkwardly handing one of his bouquets to her.

"Thanks." Sadie said, trying to hold in a snicker. "Come on, follow me." The two men followed Sadie into the kitchen. Jude was at the counter, mixing a bowl of salad while Stuart was standing next to her, seasoning the chicken.

"Hey you." Miles said, walking towards Jude. "These are for you." Handing her the bouquet.

"Thank you!" Jude replied, giving him a hug and a kiss on the cheek. She grabbed his hand and pulled him next to her, facing her dad. "Miles, this is my father Stuart. Dad, this is my boyfriend, Miles Davenport."

"It's nice to finally meet you sir." Miles extended his hand out for Stuart to take. They shook hands and Miles gave him the bottle of wine. "This is for the dinner."

"Thanks Miles. It's good to finally meet you. Jude never shuts up about you." Stuart said, laughing.

"Dad!" Jude blushed. Everyone laughed. Jude turned to Sadie and Kwest. "Kwest, have you met Miles?"

"No, not officially." He said, holding out his hand for Miles. "And these are for you too." Handing Jude the other bouquet.

"Wow, don't we feel spoiled tonight?" Jude asked Sadie.

"Yes. I think tonight was the first night that I've received two bouquets of flowers from two different men." She said, giggling. "Dad, Kwest brought wine too." She took the bottle from Kwest and set it on the counter.

"Why don't you guys go relax in the living room while I finish up this chicken?" Stuart suggested. Sadie grabbed one of the wine bottles as Jude grabbed wine glasses and the two men followed them into the living room. Kwest and Sadie sat on the couch while Jude and Miles sat on the love seat.

"So Miles, how long have you known Jude?" Kwest started.

"Well, four months ago she found my band at a battle of the bands contest down at The Chain and she got NBR to sign us and now she's our producer." Miles said happily, sitting back and grabbing Jude's hand.

"What's your band's name?"

"Astrophel."

"You know, I don't think you ever mentioned what that word meant." Jude stated. Miles turned to her and smiled.

"It means Star Lover in Latin."

"ohhh. That sounds romantic." Sadie said. Kwest just grunted and took a sip of wine.

"How long have you guys been official?" Kwest inquired.

"We've been together for three weeks. I asked her to be my girlfriend when we shot the music video for Broken."

"Oh Yeah? By the way, congrats on the video making number one. That is an amazing song. Is it about anyone that we know?" Kwest asked with a glint in his eye. Miles looked at Jude. Her face fell into sadness when Kwest asked his question. Miles was well aware on whom the song was about, but it didn't faze him. He had Jude now. And that was all that mattered.

"Kwest!" Sadie snapped.

"Excuse me for a minute." Jude said quietly, getting off the couch and making a run for the bathroom.

"What the hell was that?" Sadie asked, standing up from the couch.

"I just can't believe that she would forget about Tommy that fast!" Kwest exclaimed. "He called to tell her that he won't be coming back less than 2 months ago, and a few weeks later she's got herself a new boyfriend? No offense to you Miles." Kwest pointed out.

"None taken." Miles said quietly.

"Kwest, can I talk to you for a minute?" Jude asked, standing in the doorway. Kwest got up from the couch and followed her into the dining room. "What the hell are you doing?"

"I just don't understand you! I thought you loved Tommy? And the moment he calls you to tell you that he's not coming back you get a boyfriend?"

"That's not how it went Kwest. I do love him. And I will always love him. But do you know what he said to me? He told me to get over him. He told me to find someone else and get over him. And do you know what? I found someone else, but I'm not over him. I think about Tommy every single day, wondering if he's alright and that he's safe, wondering if he'll come home eventually, if not now, but a few years down the road. I'm still heartbroken about his phone call."

"What about Miles? You're using him." At that accusation, Jude went off.

"I am not using Miles."

"Does he even know anything about Tommy?"

"Yes. He knows about Tommy. He knows everything. Everything from the kiss on my sixteenth birthday to how Tommy left me the day before my second album release party, to my eighteenth birthday and Hunter, and to how I pushed him to go to Asia by himself. Do you not see how guilty I feel? I feel so guilty and devastated. What if I went with him? Then we would be together right now. He probably hates me, hates me for sending him alone. Hates me so much that he doesn't want to come home and see me." Jude cried. She sat down on one of the dining chairs and covered her face with her hands. Kwest stood next her and leaned down to hug her.

"Jude, he doesn't hate you. He loves you more than anything. He's just too stubborn. You know that. Look, my advice, Tommy will come home to you, If not now, later on, like you said. Just don't jump into this relationship with Miles so fast. Let your heart heal a little before it gets broken again, in one way or another. Okay?" Kwest said, pulling Jude out of her chair and pulling her into a full hug.

(Scars; by Papa Roach)


	6. Chapter 3

3

Not Standing Around

Four months and three weeks gone (19 weeks since Tommy left)

"Wow! That party was amazing." Miles exclaimed, leading Jude into his townhouse and into the living room. Jude removed her jacket and shoes and fell on the couch exhausted.

For the past month Jude had finally finished her third album and that night was the release party. Jude and Miles had kept their relationship on a slow pace, just lunches and dinners and the occasional movie, but then working closely everyday either doing her album or his; they had spent a lot of time together. Each day that had passed, a little piece of Jude's pain went away and was replaced with a piece of love for Miles. He had been great for her, listening to her when she needed to belt out her feelings, helping her with her music and being a shoulder to cry on when her pain for Tommy was too much to handle.

Miles sat down on the couch next to her and held her hand. Jude turned her head to look at him and gazed into his light blue eyes.

"Thank you for all of your help on the album. I couldn't have done it without you." Jude said, squeezing his hand.

"Anything for you." He replied, leaning over and gently kissing her. Jude leaned in further and deepened the kiss, scooting closer to him and placing her free hand on his cheek. The most that Jude had allowed of their physical contact had been short and sweet make out sessions. But Jude had a lot of pent up sexual hindrance caused by Tommy. Jude kissed Miles harder, letting it be known that she was hungry and ready for more. She sat up, keeping her lips connected with his and slid onto his lap, straddling him. Miles groaned loudly while he kissed her passionately, putting his hands on her hips, his fingers digging into her skin. Jude gripped his shoulders and kissed him as deep as she could. Miles pulled away, breathing deeply and staring into her eyes. "Wow. What has gotten into you?" he whispered with a smile.

"I don't know." She paused, looking away. "Okay, I do know." Miles smiled knowingly but silently waited for her to continue. "Well, you know everything that happened with Tommy, right?" Miles nodded. "Well here's something I never told you. The day before he left, we slept together. And ever since then I've been feeling this urge and I have all this sexual frustration and don't know what to do with it. And what I don't know is if I miss _it _with him or just the act itself." Jude sighed, pulling away from Miles a little more. Miles stared at here, understanding her situation. Miles pulled her back toward him and held her body to his.

"Jude, it's okay. When you feel your _urge_, do you think about him or me?" Jude bit her lip in thought, contemplating on whether or not she should tell him.

"The truth?" he nodded. "In my dreams it's him. But when I'm awake it's you. And lately, that feeling keeps getting stronger whenever I'm around you." Jude whispered. Miles smiled at her and pulled her face toward his. He kissed her softly at first, when his tongue invaded her mouth; Jude moaned and kissed him back harder. Miles ran his hands through her hair and held her head close to his while Jude ran her hands up and down his torso, playing with the hem of his t-shirt. "Miles…." Jude whispered in between kisses

"Yeah?" he whispered back, moving his mouth down to her neck. Jude threw her head back so he could have better access.

"I want you, right now." Miles pulled away and stared into her eyes.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes." She whispered huskily and leaned forward and started to kiss him again. Miles stood up from the couch as Jude wrapped her legs around his hips and he grabbed a hold of her butt, keeping her close to him. He carried her through the house and up the stairs to his bedroom.

* * *

Sunlight filtered through the blinds covering the big window over the bed. Miles opened his eyes and groaned. He tried to turn over but couldn't, realizing that there was a body halfway laying on his. He looked down at Jude, her head on his chest and arms encircled his waist. Miles smiled at the memory of the night before. He shifted a little on the bed, trying to ease her off of him gently so he could get up. As soon as he was off the bed, he grabbed his boxers off the floor and went into the bathroom.

Jude opened her eyes, looking around the white brick walls and black contrasting furniture. At first she didn't remember where she was but then the smell of sex and sweat mixed into the sheets brought back her memories. She sat up in the bed, holding the sheet to her front, feeling guilty and dirty. _Why do I feel like such a whore? _Tears started to slide down her cheeks slowly. She was brought out of her guilty conscience when she heard the toilet flush and Miles walking out of the bathroom wearing only his boxers. Miles noticed Jude sitting up in his bed and crying. He went over to her and sat down next to her, pulling her into his arms.

"Hey, what's wrong?" he asked in a calm voice. Jude looked up at him and shook her head. "Okay. I think I get it. Do you regret what we did last night?" Jude pulled away quickly, keeping the sheet with her. Thoughts of her sixteenth birthday floated through her mind. She remembered feeling so much pain from what Tommy did that she did not wish that feeling on anyone else, especially Miles. She didn't want to do to Miles what Tommy did to her.

"No, I don't regret any of it." She whispered; her head down and her hair covering her face.

"Then what's wrong? Did I hurt you in any way?" he asked, concerned. He moved closer to Jude as she started to cry harder. "Come on, you can tell me. You know I won't judge you." He gently urged. Jude looked up at him and nodded.

"I feel like I betrayed him, cheated on him in some way. I feel like a whore." Jude exclaimed.

"Come here," he said softly, opening his arms to her, she slid into his embrace and held onto him tightly. Miles tilted her face up to his with his finger under her chin. "Look at me; I know you still love him. I know that you will always love him. And I'm not going to try and make you stop thinking about him and forget him. But what you need to understand is that he's not coming back. He told you so himself. When he told you, he cut off all ties to you. You're not with him, not his girlfriend. And there is no need for you to feel the way that you do. Now I'll understand if you regret anything and I'll stop from there ever being a next time." Jude shook her head.

"Miles, thank you. No, I don't regret sleeping with you. If anything I feel wonderful that we slept together. I don't know why I feel this way. I mean, before he left, I promised him that I was going to wait for him."

"And do you know what? He promised you that he was going to come home. And he broke that promise. You didn't do anything wrong. You broke no promises." Miles said softly.

"I know. Thank you for being so tolerant with me. I know most boyfriends wouldn't be. I'm lucky to have you in my life. Thank you." Jude whispered and leaned into him and kissed him gently. Miles smiled as he kissed her and leaned into her down on the bed. Jude brushed her fingers through the hair on the nape of his neck and kissed him harder.

"Miles." He stopped kissing her neck and looked down at her. "I love you." He smiled and brought his lips to hers.

"I love you too."

* * *

"I slept with Miles last night and this morning, I told him that I loved him." Jude blurted out when she sat down in the passenger seat of Sadie's car. It was the day before she was to leave on tour and she and Sadie were going shopping. Sadie stared at Jude in shock.

"What?"

"You heard me. Half of me feels amazing for taking the next step with Miles, but the other half feels that I betrayed Tommy. I'm torn." Jude stated fast. She covered her face with her hands and inhaled deeply.

"Well, did you sleep with Tom?" Sadie asked. Jude parted her fingers slightly and looked at Sadie, and then closed her fingers again. "You did! How was it?"

"Oh! I am so not going there, especially with you! Especially when you probably slept with him too! It would feel weird comparing sex stories with you about the same man!" Jude rattled. Sadie blushed a little and shook her head no. "What? You never slept with Tommy?" Jude asked as Sadie started the car and pulled away from the curb.

"No. He was always too busy working and thinking about you." Jude lowered her hands and sighed. "Don't worry about it Jude. I'm with Kwest, and I'm sure he's much better than Tom would've been." They both giggled for a moment. "So you told Miles you loved him?" Sadie asked after a few minutes of silence.

"Yeah. And the thing is, I really do. I love Tommy too. But Tommy's not coming back. I'm trying to move on like he asked me too. And Miles is helping me do that. He has been perfect the whole time we've been officially together. Do you want to know what happened this morning when I woke up?" Sadie looked at Jude curiously and nodded. "Miles wasn't in the room when I woke up, but I sat up in his bed and started to cry."

"Uh oh. And Miles walked in while you were crying?" Jude nodded. "Did he think you regretted it?"

"Yes, Exactly. But I told him I didn't regret it. Far from it. But I told him what I felt like and that I had betrayed Tommy."

"So what did he do? What did he say?"

"He said that he knew that I still loved Tommy and that he knows that he can't make me forget him but he told me not to worry about hurting Tommy when Tommy had broken his promise first."

"What promise did you make?"

"That I would wait for him to come home." Jude said sadly. Sadie was silent for a few more minutes before speaking.

"So, who was better? Tom or Miles?" Sadie asked with a smile.

"Do you really have to ask that?" Jude admonished. She rubbed her forehead with her hand and sighed. "Well, I don't know. I mean Tommy was perfect for my first time, he was slow and gentle, but Miles on the other hand." Jude paused. "All I can say is wow." Sadie giggled again as they pulled into the mall parking lot. "And none of this info leaves this car, understand?" Jude threatened.

"Girl scout honor." Sadie chuckled as she and Jude exited the car and walked toward the mall entrance.

* * *

"So, who's going to be on your tour bus?" Sadie asked, sitting down at the food court table.

"SME of course. Why?" Jude asked, taking a bite of her hamburger. For the Jude / Astrophel tour there were going to be two buses. Tour bus Betty for Jude and SME sponsored by Darius and the brand new tour bus that NBR had recently gotten for Astrophel.

"Well, I just thought that after what happened last night, you and Miles would share a bus." Sadie stated, taking a bite of her salad.

"No. We can't. Because we are from different labels the terms and conditions in the contracts that we signed was that nobody from one bus can spend any time on the other. That was one of Darius' conditions. But he didn't say hotel rooms." Jude winked. Sadie giggled.

"So how does SME get along with Miles and his group?"

"I'm not sure about Speid since he hasn't been here, but Wally and Kyle like them. It's like they're long lost siblings or something. They get along great." Jude explained. "I can't believe that I'm going on tour again. It's so exciting. I wish that you and Kwest could go but I know you're busy."

"Well, I'm sure Kwest and I can make it to one of your concerts on the road. Speaking of _busy, _who did you have in mind when you bought this?" She asked saucily, holding up the small Victoria's Secret bag.

"Miles of course. Did you think I would wear it for Speid?" Jude asked, sipping her strawberry milkshake.

"No. Of course not! I was just wondering." Sadie sang, taking another bite.

* * *

"Are you ready to go on your first tour?" Jude asked Miles. They were standing in the parking lot of NBR, watching some of the staff putting the equipment in the compartments under the bus.

"Excited. I'm just glad I get to experience this with you." He said, leaning down and kissing her lightly.

"Me too." She replied, hugging him back.

"Jude!" Miles and Jude turned around and saw Sadie and Kwest walking over to them. Jude pulled away from Miles slightly, feeling guilty that Kwest was still angry with her. After their small confrontation, Jude didn't let up on the relationship with Miles, and because of her decision, Kwest had started to give her the cold shoulder whenever he was around her, making her feel even more guilty in betraying Tommy.

"Hey Sadie, Hey Kwest." Miles greeted happily as the couple approached.

"Hey. We just wanted to say good-bye before you guys left." Sadie said, reaching over to Jude and pulling her into a hug. "I'll miss you little sister."

"I'll miss you too Sadie." Jude let go of Sadie and stood still, staring at Kwest. "Well, I guess we'll see you guys in five months!" she exclaimed, sticking her hands in her pockets and swaying a little.

"Yeah later." Kwest said, turning and walking back to the car. Sadie stood there, giving Kwest the evil eye.

"I'm sorry Jude. I don't know what's gotten into him lately about you." Sadie apologized.

"Do you know what? Don't worry about Kwest and me. But we should start getting ready to go. So, I'll call you when we get to the first stop, kay?"

"Okay, bye sis." Sadie said, giving Jude a quick kiss on the cheek and walking away.

"He's still mad at you because you didn't break up with me?" Miles asked with a smirk.

"Yeah, he his, but he's not going to ruin my mood." Jude said, hugging him close to her.

"Hey Miles! Lets go!" Shawn yelled from the bus.

"Yeah, come on!" Kyle said from Tour Bus Betty.

"Okay. So, I'll see you in Ottawa." Miles said.

"Yeah, Ottawa." Jude replied, getting up on her tiptoes and kissing Miles passionately.

"I miss you already." He said, pulling away from her. "I love you."

"I love you too." Jude said as she made her way to the front of her bus. She waved to him before disappearing into the world of cup holders filled with syrup and jell-o in the beds.


	7. Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Liar Liar

Eight months and three weeks since Tommy left.

Four months on tour

Winnipeg, Manitoba

_I don't care anymore if I let you down  
I believe that I need to be free  
I'm so used to my life with you around  
I don't know anymore...the real me_

_And I thought that I found my self today  
And I thought that I had control  
All the change in my life just fell away  
For a moment I didn't need you_

_All these tears that I've cried  
You must be tired of taking care of me but  
Its what you do best and  
I'm a liar cause really its what I need_

_And I thought that I found myself today  
And I thought that I had control  
All the change in my life just fell away  
For a moment I didn't need you_

_Someone like you  
Someone like me  
Maybe its change that set you free  
Free..._

_And I thought that I found myself today  
And I thought that I had control  
All the change in my life just fell away  
For a moment I didn't need you_

_And I thought that I found myself today  
And I thought that I had control  
All the change in my life just fell away  
For a moment I didn't need you_

Jude finished her song and stared at the crowd in front of her, giving her applause and a standing ovation. She gave her gratitude in the mic and walked off the stage. Walking towards her dressing room in a daze, Jude thought that she saw _his _eyes staring back at her while she sang. Nearly dragging her acoustic on the ground, Jude kept her head low, almost walking into stagehands and equipment.

"Jude!" She heard as she walked into her dressing room. Miles came up behind her and shut the door and locked it. "Hey, are you okay?" Jude looked up at him with tears in her eyes and shook her head. "Tell me, what's wrong." He guided her over to the couch and sat her down as he knelt on the floor in front of her.

"Sometimes I swear I'm going crazy." Jude muttered. Miles put his hands on her face and made her stare at him.

"Please, tell me what's wrong," Miles pleaded.

"I see him." Jude whispered. Tears kept rolling down her face and she gently shook her head, trying to look down and away from him, but he wouldn't let her. "I see him in my dreams and out in the crowd when I'm singing. I see him on street corners and in coffee shops when we're on the bus. I see him everywhere. And then I blink and he's gone!" she screamed with impatience and got out of his hold. She stood up from the couch and started to pace the room. "If only I could talk to him and see him one last time, I'll be okay. I just want to know that's okay!" she started to cry again and sat down on the floor in the middle of the room. Miles went to her and sat on the floor next to her, pulling her onto his lap and holding her as she cried in his arms.

* * *

Later that night, in her hotel room, Miles and Jude lay in her still made bed and fully clothed. Wrapped in his arms; Jude was still shedding quiet tears and little sniffles in her sleep. Miles had practically carried her up to her hotel room after her breakdown in the dressing room. Laying her down in her bed, about to leave, thinking she was finally sleeping; she called for Miles and asked him not to leave her.

It was 3 A.M. when Jude's cell phone started to ring. Miles turned and moaned, looking at the phone slightly lighting up the room. He nudged Jude a little, trying to get her to wake up. The phone stopped ringing. He turned back over, laying an arm over Jude and closed his eyes. The phone started to ring again. Miles groaned in frustration and turned over and grabbed the phone. Without looking at the caller I.D., he flipped it open and answered the call.

"Hello?" he inquired, clearing his throat of any anger thinking it could've been Jamie or Sadie, or even Kwest.

"Uh, is um, Jude there?" a male's voice came over the phone. Miles was confused of who it could be, not recognizing the voice. He pulled the phone away from his ear and looked at the display. **Quincy**. Miles' squinted his eyes in anger and returned the phone to his ear.

"Uh Sorry, she's sleeping right now. Had a rough night, if you know what I mean." Miles hinted. He heard a small growl and then a sigh.

"Well, could you tell her that Tom Quincy called? Please? It's important. Um, who is this?" Tommy asked, hoping that he was just a distant cousin.

"My name is Miles I'm Jude's boyfriend. But, I'll tell her you called. Have a good night." Miles alleged and shut the phone. After putting the phone back on the night stand, Miles turned back over to Jude, who was still in a deep sleep, draped his arm over her and held her close, closing his eyes and falling back asleep, feeling triumphant.

* * *

Tommy couldn't believe his ears. Her boyfriend? Since when did she get a boyfriend? _Since I told her to get over me, you idiot!_ He answered himself. As he sat in the balcony of his hotel room, he pondered on whether or not he would call Kwest. He had all the answers.

"This had better be good!" Kwest growled into the phone.

"Kwest, its Tom. Who the hell is Miles and what is he doing with Jude?"

"Ah Man! That's why you're calling me at 1:30 in the morning? Are you nuts?" Kwest asked, getting out of bed and walking out of the bedroom so as not to wake up Sadie.

"Well, I was calling to tell her that I was coming soon and I also wanted to check up on how she was doing. Apparently she's doing great!" Tommy assumed sarcastically.

"Well you have perfect timing T. She comes home from tour in a month, and from what I hear she's not doing so great." Kwest replied, walking into his kitchen and sitting down at the kitchen table.

"What do you mean?"

"Miles and Jude both call Sadie. Jude tells her about dreams she has of you and Miles tells her how she breaks down after every show, swearing that she sees you out in the crowd. But Miles, he helps her out a lot."

"How long have they been together?" he asked hesitantly.

"They've been together five and half months."

"Do you think she loves him?" He sighed dejectedly into the phone.

"Yeah, but not as much as she loves you."

* * *

Later that week, Miles had helped Jude get over her woes in song. Finally getting over her guilt and sorrow allowed her to open up and love Miles even more. She had allowed him to grow closer to her in her music and life in general. He got along with SME and Jamie, and Sadie, and thought he was sweet and hot. Two qualities that were hard to find together.

After their show in Calgary, Alberta; Miles took Jude out to eat by themselves. They sat at their table in candle light, admiring the star scattered sky above them. Miles grabbed hold of her hand to get her attention and cleared his throat.

"I have something to tell you. It's been kind of bothering me this past week. That night in Ottawa, um at about three in the morning, Quincy called your phone. And I answered it." At the sound of Tommy's name, Jude sat up and stared at Miles sternly.

"And did he say anything?" she asked, holding her breath.

"No, he just wanted me to tell you that he called. He asked who I was and I told him my name and then told him goodnight." Miles stated. He was afraid of how Jude was going to react. He had been feeling extreme guilt just by looking at her.

"Oh. That was it? He didn't say if he was coming home or asked how I was?" She asked disappointedly.

"No. But if it makes you feel better he did sound kind of disappointed when I told him you were asleep."

"Why didn't you wake me up?" All of a sudden she was angry.

"I tried to wake you up the first time your phone rang. The second time I answered it. It's not my fault you wouldn't wake up!" Miles shot back, and then felt guilty about talking to her that way. "Look, I'm sorry I talked to you like that. I'm sorry that I didn't try harder to wake you up and I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner." He said, getting up from the table and walking off of the restaurant patio. Jude stared at his back as he walked away, seething that he would keep something like that from her. She pulled out her cell phone and called Sadie.

"Hello?" Kwest answered.

"Kwest? It's Jude. Can I talk to Sadie?"

"She's not here. She went out to get lunch for us and left her phone on accident. Is there something you needed?" Jude hesitated on talking to Kwest about the subject considering their fight but he was all she had at the moment.

"I have a problem. Can I talk to you about it?" Kwest was unsure on whether he should talk to her or not. After talking to Tommy the other night he was more pissed off that his friend was hurting over Jude. Not that he was mad at Jude, but more so at Miles, rubbing his relationship with Jude in Tommy's face. But still a little mad that she didn't dump Miles like he suggested, but decided to take the opportunity to help his friend out.

"Shoot. What's your problem?" Jude told him about the argument and what Miles had done and how he apologized. "So, what's your problem? You dump him. He lied to you. The Jude I know doesn't stand for lying."

"Yeah I know, but Miles as helped me out a lot. Emotionally, musically and physically."

"Whoa! Too much info right there! Take my advice or not. Do what you think is best." He said, hoping she would dump him.

"All right. Thanks Kwest. I've gotta go. I'll see you in a month and tell Sadie I love and miss her." Jude said hurriedly and shut her phone. _ He didn't mean to hurt me, he was just trying to keep me from hurting about Tommy,_ she realized and got up from her seat and ran off of the patio and out of the restaurant to find Miles. She found him sitting on the curb, holding his head in his hands. Jude walked up to him and sat down on the curb beside him. She laid her hand on his back and he looked up at her.

"I'm sorry Miles. I realize that you were only trying to protect me. And I know that you don't want me to hurt anymore over Tommy. And because you ultimately told me when I'm sure any other man would have just kept it to himself; I can trust you more."

"Thank you, but there's nothing for you to be sorry about. It was me who messed up. I shouldn't have kept that from you. I'm so sorry." He said and leaned over and hugged her. "I love you Jude."

"I love you too Miles." She whispered and kissed him.

* * *

"Why did you just tell Jude to dump Miles?" Sadie asked, angry that her boyfriend was trying to handle Jude.

"Just trying to help." He shrugged.

"Help who? Tommy? Look, I know that when it comes to Jude's love life, it's complicated. But Miles is good for her. Leave the two of them alone."

"You know, T called me the other night. He tried calling Jude but Miles answered her phone. Now how would you feel if you tried to call me in the middle of the night and a girl answered?"

"I'd feel horrible. But that's beside the point. Tommy left Jude!" Sadie yelled, getting tired of the whole love triangle fiasco.

"No. Jude pushed Tommy away."

"If she pushed him away, then why did she promise him that she'd wait for him to come home?"

"She what?" Kwest was confused. He never heard that she promised to wait for him. Sadie nodded and sat down next to Kwest. "That still doesn't change anything. She knows that Tommy loves her and she's just going to play him like that?" Sadie stood up and put her hands on her hips.

"From now on, you're not talking to Jude about her relationships. I know you don't like Miles, but to try and break them up because you don't like him his low. Especially for you." Sadie yelled and walked out of the room.

(Finding Myself; by Smile Empty Soul - The Punisher Soundtrack)


	8. Chapter 5

5

Tell me you Love me Like a Star

9 months gone

"Jude!" Sadie screamed as soon as she saw Jude step off of the tour bus. Jude ran toward her older sister and embraced her. Finally home from her five month tour, Jude had never missed home so much. She had felt like her life had finally gotten in line. Her and Miles' relationship was everything she had wanted with Tommy, minus the Tommy part. She still loved him, but with Miles, she could put Tommy on the back burner and focus on him. She knew he loved her by the way he talked and took care of her, the way he touched her and caressed her while they had sex. Sex for Jude had been a thing she thought she could do only with Tommy, but then Miles came into her life and now she couldn't imagine it with anyone else but him. With Tommy away, it was much easier to forget about him.

"Oh God, I missed you Sadie!" Jude said, pulling away from Sadie. "Where's Kwest?"

"Oh he couldn't make it. He said he had some errands to run. So, how are you and Miles?" Sadie asked, linking her arm in with Jude's and walking away from the bus. Jude blushed and looked away. "That good, huh?"

"You have no idea." Jude said with a smile. As they got to a pair of benches off to the side of the parking lot, Astrophel's tour bus pulled in. Miles stepped off of the bus as soon as it had stopped and looked around for Jude. As soon as he spotted her, he started to jog toward her. Jude stood up from the bench and started to walk toward him.

"Hey Baby Girl." He whispered, taking a step to her and pulled her into his arms and kissed her hard and passionate. They heard a throat being cleared behind them and parted. They turned to see Sadie.

"Jude, we need to go shopping for your birthday party tonight. Come on." Jude started to walk with Sadie but Sadie stopped when she realized Miles was following them. "Sorry Miles, girls only. I promise you that you'll have her all to yourself tonight after the party." She winked, Jude blushed and Miles chuckled.

"All right. Fine. Bye Baby Girl." He said, leaning into her and kissing her good-bye. "I love you." He whispered and walked away to help his band-mates unload the tour bus. Sadie grabbed Jude's hand and pulled her away.

"Wow. Already saying the L-word?" Sadie mused.

"Yeah. Well, I do love him. I told uyou I told him that a while ago anyway."

"What about Tommy?" Sadie stopped at her car and opened the door as Jude went to the passenger side.

"What about him?" she asked while getting in and shutting the door.

"I thought you loved him?"

"I do love Tommy, but I love Miles too. And it's hard to love Tommy if he's not here and never coming back. I'll always love Tommy, but Miles is here in front of me, ready to be with me, right now." Jude summarized, looking out the window.

"But, you pushed him to go to Asia by himself." Sadie pointed out.

"I know what I did. And I told him that I was going to wait for him to come home, but when he called and told me he wasn't coming home, he broke his promise. I didn't break mine." She said, quoting what Miles had told her months ago. "Plus, I thought you were on my side?"

"I am. I just thought you didn't love Tommy anymore."

"Well, I do love him. But I'm tired of being hurt by him. I'm done. Tom Quincy has hurt me for the last time. Miles doesn't hurt me. He's honest and caring. And he's not afraid to love me."

"Well, what would you do if Tommy came home while you were with Miles?" Jude turned to Sadie in shock. "And be honest."

"Well, I actually don't know. I would probably stay with Miles. There's no way I could hurt Miles like that." Jude supplied.

* * *

Tommy emerged from the airplane exhausted and excited at the same time. He was home. He had finally overcome his fears and doubts and decided to come home to Jude. He was hoping that Jude would have him back. After talking to Kwest a few months before, he was most certain that Jude would take him back, regardless of what she felt for Miles. He was Tommy; of course she would take him back, right? Tommy spotted Kwest at the end of the terminal and waved. They walked toward each other and man-hugged.

"Tom, it's great to see you! How was Asia?" he asked, taking Tommy's carry-on

"It was beautiful. I visited a few monasteries and historical sights and it was all really great." Tommy stated with a smile. They made their way to the baggage claim area and picked up his luggage. On their way to Kwest's car, Tommy kept looking over at Kwest. "How's Jude?"

"As far as I've heard, she's doing great. Jude just got pack from her tour today. Sadie picked her up at the studio. They're shopping for her birthday party tonight. Both NBR and G-Major are throwing a party for her tonight." Tommy turned his head fully at the mention of G-Major. He hadn't known that it was re-opened. Kwest saw the confusion in his face. "Yeah, it re-opened a few weeks after you left. The G-Major board re-instated Darius as president. Jude finished her album and then he sent her on tour. He's basically giving her whatever she wants."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, she wanted Miles as a backup guitarist while Speiderman was off doing that show with Karma. He let Miles' group, Astrophel be the opening act on her tour. The only thing he didn't allow was sharing tour buses. But as you found out that night when you called Jude's phone and Miles' answered, they were able to share hotel rooms." Kwest trailed off. "I think he feels guilty towards her; like it was his fault that she was held hostage by hunter and losing you. I don't know." They got to Kwest's SUV and were on their way to Tommy's house.

"Well, good for him. But that doesn't mean that I'll forgive him."

"I don't think she's forgiven him. I think she thinks that she's doing what's best foe her career. But as long as she's happy."

"Yeah, as long as she's happy." Tommy parroted, while looking out the window.

* * *

Later at Jude's party…

Jude and Miles entered The Chain. Jude didn't know how Jamie convinced Darius to have her party there, but he did, and she was excited. As soon as Darius saw Jude walk through the door, he hopped onto the stage to announce her arrival.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you Jude Harrison!" Everyone turned to the doorway and screamed, shouted, and yelled for her.

"Wow, this is awesome!" Jude said into Miles' ear.

"Anything for you, you deserve it." He replied back, kissing her gently.

"I want to go up and perform!" Jude said excitedly.

"What? We just got back from tour. Don't you just want to relax?" Miles asked, pulling her closer to him. Jude shook her head and ran for the stage. Miles took a stool at the bar and watched Jude with genuine awe. He couldn't believe how he had gotten a hold of her, how lucky he was to have her in his life. He watched Jude get up on stage, smiling and excited to be home. She walked over to the microphone and took it off its stand.

"Hi everyone! I would just like to thank you all for coming out and celebrating my nineteenth birthday with me. As you all know, I just got back from tour earlier today and I can't say how sorry I am that it ended. But, right now, I would like to perform a few songs for you that I had worked on while on tour. I hope you like them.

Over You_  
Now that it's all said and done,  
I can't believe you were the one  
To build me up then tear me down,  
Like an old abandoned house.  
What you said when you left  
Just left me cold and out of breath.  
I fell too far, was in way too deep.  
Guess I let you get the best of me._

Miles went to the bar and ordered a drink. As Miles was drinking his beverage, he noticed a man take the stool next to him, staring at the stage. He looked over and couldn't believe his eyes. Tom Quincy. Miles stared back at the stage, wondering if she could see this far back in the dim-lit room. He glanced back over at Tommy, who never took his eyes away from the stage.

_Well, I never saw it coming.  
I should've started running  
A long, long time ago.  
And I never thought to doubt you;  
I'm better off without you  
More than you, more than you know.  
I'm slowly getting closure.  
I guess it's really over.  
I'm finally getting better.  
And now I'm picking up the pieces  
And spending all of these years  
Putting my heart back together.  
'Cause the day I thought I'd never get through,  
I got over you._

"She's great isn't she?" Miles turned and asked him. Tommy looked back at him, wondering why this man was even talking to him.

"Yeah, she is. Do you know her? Personally?" Tommy asked, for some reason the man who was sitting next him sounded familiar.

_You took a hammer to these walls,  
Dragged the memories down the hall,  
Packed your bags and walked away.  
There was nothing I could say.  
And when you slammed the front door shut,  
A lot of others opened up,  
So did my eyes so I could see  
That you never were the best for me._

"Yeah I know her. She's a wonderful woman. Full of life, spirit, passion; but she can be a little hothead." Miles chuckled.

"Stubborn as hell." Tommy agreed.

_Well, I never saw it coming.  
I should've started running  
A long, long time ago.  
And I never thought to doubt you;  
I'm better off without you  
More than you, more than you know.  
I'm slowly getting closure.  
I guess it's really over.  
I'm finally getting better.  
And now I'm picking up the pieces  
And spending all of these years  
Putting my heart back together.  
'Cause the day I thought I'd never get through,  
I got over you._

Tommy couldn't believe the words coming from her mouth. _There's no way she got over me._ The words were stabbing him in the heart.

_Well, I never saw it coming.  
I should've started running  
A long, long time ago.  
And I never thought to doubt you;  
I'm better off without you  
More than you, more than you know._

_Well, I never saw it coming.  
I should've started running  
A long, long time ago.  
And I never thought to doubt you;  
I'm better off without you  
More than you, more than you know.  
I'm slowly getting closure.  
I guess it's really over.  
I'm finally getting better.  
And now I'm picking up the pieces  
And spending all of these years  
Putting my heart back together.  
Well I'm putting my heart back together,  
'Cause I got over you.  
Well I got over you.  
I got over you.  
'Cause the day I thought I'd never get through,  
I got over you._

Everyone in the room applauded. Jude smiled and waved to the crowd.

"Thank you! That song was called Over You. My next song, I'm going to invite up the main man in my life; ladies and gentlemen, I give you lead singer of Astrophel, Miles Davenport!" she yelled into the mic. Miles stood up from the chair and turned to Tommy.

"It was nice talking with you, but I'm being called up to the stage." Miles said with a smirk and turned and walked away. Tommy sat on his stool, dumbfounded. _That was Miles? Jude's boyfriend? What the fuck?! _Tommy watched as Miles got onto the stage and reached for Jude and kissed her passionately. Tommy looked away.

"Well, well, well, look whose back in town?" Tommy looked up and saw Sadie. She sat on the stool Miles had been sitting on. "So, how's it going?"

"Apparently not so good. I came home to be with Jude and well, now I can't. You know, I didn't think she would get over me and find somebody else like I told her to." He said sadly, looking down at the floor.

"Well, I can tell you, she still loves you." He looked back up at Sadie with hope in his eyes. "She told me so this afternoon when we went shopping. But she's not going to dump him for you. She sees that he's genuinely in love with her and she can't hurt him that way. She won't." Tommy looked back down at the floor.

"How is everyone tonight?" Miles asked into the Mic. "This song that Jude and I are going to sing is called Bring Me to Life. I hope you guys like it!" he said. Putting his guitar strap over his head, he held the instrument in his hands and started to strum some chords as Jude started to sing.

_How can you see into my eyes like open doors_**  
**_Leading you down into my core  
Where I've become so numb  
Without a soul my spirit sleeping somewhere cold  
Until you find it there and lead it back home_

_(Wake me up)  
Wake me up inside  
(I can't wake up)  
Wake me up inside  
(Save me)  
Call my name and save me from the dark  
(Wake me up)  
Bid my blood to run  
(I can't wake up)  
Before I come undone  
(Save me)  
Save me from the nothing I've become_

_Now that I know what I'm without  
You can't just leave me  
Breathe into me and make me real  
Bring me to life_

_(Wake me up)  
Wake me up inside  
(I can't wake up)  
Wake me up inside  
(Save me)  
Call my name and save me from the dark  
(Wake me up)  
Bid my blood to run  
(I can't wake up)  
Before I come undone  
(Save me)  
Save me from the nothing I've become _

_Bring me to life  
(I've been living a lie, there's nothing inside)  
Bring me to life_

_Frozen inside without your touch without your love  
darling only you are the life among the dead_

**_All this time I can't believe I couldn't see  
Kept in the dark but you were there in front of me  
I've been sleeping a thousand years it seems  
Got to open my eyes to everything  
Without a thought without a voice without a soul  
Don't let me die here  
There must be something more  
Bring me to life  
_**_  
(Wake me up)  
Wake me up inside  
(I can't wake up)  
Wake me up inside  
(Save me)  
Call my name and save me from the dark  
(Wake me up)  
Bid my blood to run  
(I can't wake up)  
Before I come undone  
(Save me)  
Save me from the nothing I've become_

_(Bring me to life)  
I've been living a lie, there's nothing inside  
Bring me to life _

"Wow. Not quite her style." Tommy said, taking a drink of Jack Daniels and coke. Sadie looked at him with a sympathetic look. SME and Miles were putting their instruments off to the side. Before Jude walked off stage, Miles grabbed her hand and pulled her to him. Tommy watched in interest.

"Now before we leave the stage, I would like to say something to the birthday girl." Miles stated happily, holding onto Jude's hands. "Now I know Jude and I have been together for 8 months, almost nine, and I just want to say" Turning to Jude, "Jude, I am more in love with you than life itself." Jude blushed at the statement while the crowd oooed, awed and wolf whistled at the couple. Tommy just felt sick to his stomach. Sadie was unsure of herself on how to comfort him. The crowd started to go wild when Sadie and Tommy saw Miles get down on one knee and pull something out of his pocket.

"Oh my god!" Jude whispered to herself. She looked down at Miles and smiled.

"Jude, will you marry me?" Miles looked up into her eyes, hoping she would accept him. Butterflies flew around in both of their stomachs, both of their hearts beating rapidly. Jude nodded her head slowly.

"Yes." She whispered. Miles got off of his knee and stood up. He took the ring out of the little velvet box and slid the ring onto her finger. Jude quickly grabbed Miles by his t-shirt and pulled him to her and kissed him hard. "I love you." She whispered when she pulled away from him.

Tommy was speechless. Apparently so was Sadie. They stared at each other for a moment, not believing their eyes.

"Yeah, she must love me a lot." Tommy sneered as he got up from his stool and walked toward the stage.

"Jude congratulations!" The crowd yelled and cheered as she and Miles came down the stairs from the stage. She hugged SME and Jamie while they shook Miles' hand. Jude had her back turned, hugging Kyle.

"Congratulations Jude." She heard behind her. The voice froze the blood in her veins. She let go of Kyle, who had a shocked look on his face. She turned around slowly, coming face to face to the man she both loved and hated.

(Over You; By Chris Daughtry)

(Bring Me To Life; by Evanescence)


	9. Chapter 6

6

I Hate Everything About you

"You're back." Jude stated. She stood still, just staring at him like her eyes were deceiving her. Tommy took a few steps closer to her to hug her until Miles interfered, pulling Jude into his arms. Jude looked from Miles to Tommy, back to Miles. "Uh, Miles, this is Tom Quincy, Tom, this is Miles, my boyfriend."

"Well, now fiancé." Miles smirked, holding his hand out to Tommy. Tommy looked at Miles' hand in disgust, but slowly took it to shake.

"Yeah. We've met." Tommy supplied angrily. Jude had a look of confusion on her face.

"Jude! Congratulations!" Sadie screamed, running to Jude and pulling her into a hug. Sadie let her go and realized she had walked into an awkward situation. "Jude, lets talk." Sadie said, pulling Jude into the back by the bar. Tommy stared at Miles disdainfully while Miles stared back with a cocky grin.

"Miles! Get up there and play a few songs!" Jamie shouted happily.

"Yeah, sure." he replied, turning his back on Tommy and making his way back to the stage.

"Sadie, did you know about… this?" Jude asked, waving her hands toward Tommy. She sat down on a barstool. "Oh god, I need a drink." She muttered. The bartender slid a glass of rum and coke toward Jude. But before she could grasp it, Sadie slid it back to the bartender and shook her head.

"Yes and no." Jude glared at her sister. "He told Kwest he was coming home but we didn't know when."

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Jude screamed. A throat cleared and she turned around to see Tommy. He stepped closer to her until they were a foot apart.

"Sadie, can we have a few minutes alone?" he asked, not taking his eyes away from Jude. Sadie nodded and left to go find Kwest. Tommy sat on the barstool next to Jude. She looked away from him and looked at Miles up on the stage. He started to strum his guitar.

_Every time we lie awake_

_After every hit we take_

_Every feeling that I get_

_But I haven't missed you yet_

_Every room mate kept awake_

_By every sigh and scream we make_

_All the feelings that I get_

_But I still don't miss you yet_

_Only when I stop to think about it_

_I hate everything about you_

_Why do I love you_

_I hate everything about you_

_Why do I love you_

"Well, I hope this song isn't directed towards you." Tommy said, breaking the silence.

"They're my lyrics." Jude replied loud enough for him to hear.

"Oh."

_Every time we lie awake_

_After every hit we take_

_Every feeling that I get_

_But I haven't missed you yet_

_Only when I stop to think about it_

_I hate everything about you_

_Why do I love you_

_I hate everything about you_

_Why do I love you_

_Only when I stop to think_

_About you, I know_

_Only when you stop to think_

_About me, do you know_

_I hate everything about you_

_Why do I love you_

_You hate everything about me_

_Why do you love me_

_I hate_

_You hate_

_I hate_

_You love me_

_I hate everything about you_

_Why do I love you_

"You don't hate me do you?" Tommy asked worriedly. Jude looked at him with sad eyes but then quickly looked away. "Do you?" he urged. Jude looked at him again and shook her head no. "But you still love me?" She stared at him with an emotionless face. Getting irritated with her vagueness, Tommy grabbed both of her arms and pulled her close to him, his face mere inches away from hers. "Do you still love me?" he inquired with a low growl. Jude shook her head as tears started to flow from her eyes. "Come on." He stood up from the stool and pulled Jude from hers and guided her into a dark room in the back.

"Tommy, please don't do this to me." Jude pleaded.

"Do what?"

"This!" she screamed, motioning her hands between the two of them. "We'll be so close to being together and then something goes wrong! I want to stop playing this game! I want to move on with my life! I want to move on with Miles!" She screamed.

"What about me? I came back for you!" he screamed back. "You broke your promise! You said that you were going to wait for me!" Jude took a few steps to him and stuck her finger into his chest.

"I broke no promises! You broke yours. You promised that you would come back home; Then two months later you call and tell me you're not coming home and for me to get over you! I did what you asked. I got over you! What else do you want from me?" Tommy stared down at the floor in shame. He knew what he said to her. He didn't think she actually would get over him. Not this soon anyway. Tommy grabbed Jude by the shoulders again and pulled her against him.

"I want you." Tommy whispered, before he crashed his lips onto hers. Jude was taken by surprise. She tried not to get into the kiss, but she couldn't help herself. Tommy pushed her against the wall, molding his body with hers. He had his hands on her hips while she rested her hands on his shoulders. Tommy kissed her hard, grinding his hips in to hers. He removed his lips from hers and started to kiss down her neck. Jude outstretched her arms so she could put her hands into his hair but something shiny glittered in the dim light. Jude eyed the engagement ring on her finger. Suffocation and guilt took over Jude as she put her hands on Tommy's chest and pushed him away from her. He looked at her with confusion and hurt in his eyes.

"No, I'm not doing this. I have to go." She whispered, stepping away from him and then turning away to walk out of the room. Tommy stood in the dim light, staring at the door as it slowly shut.

"It's not over."

* * *

"Jude, where've you been?" Miles asked as Jude was walking towards the doors. He saw tear streaks on her flushed cheeks. "Hey, what's wrong?" Miles pulled Jude into his arms and held her tightly.

"Can you take me home?" she asked in a cracked voice.

"Yeah, sure. Stay here so I can tell Jamie that we're leaving." He said, leaving her side. She scoured the room, hiding in the shadows.

"Jamie, Jude and I are leaving. Did you notice that Tom Quincy is here? I think he got to her or something. She's freaking out." Miles said. Jamie's face quickly overtook a face of anger.

"Don't worry Miles. I'll take care of him." He stated, pushing Miles toward the exit. "Just take her home and take care of her. She needs you." Miles walked towards the exit. Jamie saw Miles put his arms around Jude and ushered her out the door. Jamie turned around and looked around the room for Quincy. He watched Tommy come out of the back room and walk straight towards the bar. Jamie walked toward him.

"Quincy." Jamie said, standing behind him. Tommy turned around in his stool and glared at the unwanted visitor.

"What do you want Andrews?"

"I want you to stay away from Jude. Believe it or not, she's happy with Miles. She may have been heartbroken and devastated when you called and told her you weren't coming home. But Miles helped her. And I can truly tell she loves him. Leave her alone. And I'm telling you right now, that if I see you anywhere near my studio, I will have you arrested for trespassing." Jamie stated and turned and left. Tommy sat in his stool, fuming at Jamie's words. Tommy got off of the stool and left to go home.

* * *

Miles led Jude into his townhouse and nearly dragged her up the stairs into his bedroom. She sat down on his bed and stared at the wall. Miles went to his dresser and pulled out a t-shirt for her.

"Jude, put this on and get comfortable. Do you want some Ben & Jerry's Chunky Monkey?" Jude nodded her head as she reached for the t-shirt. Miles smiled at her and kissed her head. "I'm going to run to the store to get you some okay? Get in bed, get comfy and I'll be back soon. Okay?" She nodded her head again and stood up from the bed and started undressing. Miles walked out of the room to go get Jude some ice cream.

On his way to the store, Miles pulled out his phone and called Jamie.

"Andrews."

"Hey, it's me. Did you take care of the problem?" Miles asked, pulling up to a stoplight.

"I talked to and threatened him, but if I know him well enough, he's going to keep trying. "

"What do you think he's going to do?"

"I don't know. Write her a song?"

* * *

"Hello?"

"Kwest, I don't know what to do." Tommy stated through his phone. He was sitting in his dark kitchen drinking vodka out of the bottle.

"T? Where the hell did you go? I was looking for you at the party for hours!"

"Sorry, I should've told you that I was leaving. I left shortly after I talked to Jude, after Andrews tried to threaten me."

"Tried to threaten you? What the hell did he say?"

"Oh, he just said that if I went anywhere near his studio, he would arrest me."

"Yeah, well you know if he had the chance he would."

"Yeah. Kwest, man, I don't know what to do."

"Do what you always do when you hurt Jude. Write a 'please forgive me song'. I know you have a journal somewhere full of those kinds of songs for Jude." Kwest chuckled over the phone.

"Ha ha. You're right. And I have three journals full of songs for Jude. I'll give you a call when I'm done writing it. We can record it. Thanks Kwest." he said hurriedly, hanging up the phone. Tommy walked out of the kitchen to grab one of his journals and a pencil and went down the hallway to his small home studio.

* * *

"Jude, I'm home!" Miles shouted up the stairway as he closed the front door. He stopped into the kitchen and grabbed a spoon out of the drawer and went up the stairs into his bedroom. He walked into the dark room and saw her curled up under the blankets. "Baby, are you still awake?" She shifted a little in the bed and as he walked closer to her he could hear her sniffling. He walked to her side of the bed and kneeled down on the floor. She had her face covered with her arms and blankets. He stood up and shook his head. Miles leaned down and gently pulled the blanket away. Her face was flushed and she had tears running off the side of her cheeks onto the pillow. "What's wrong baby?" She shook her head. "Come on, tell me." He said, pulling her up slowly.

"He kissed me." She said softly, looking away. Miles stared at her, not knowing what to think. He knew that deep down in her heart she loved Quincy, always would. He knew that she loved him too. By the way she touched and made love to him, but he wasn't sure how she would actually act now that Quincy was back. Was she going to break up with him now, or was she going to continue to be with Miles and marry him? "I kissed him back."

"What?" He asked back, disappointedly. Tears started to come out of her eyes faster when she saw the look on his face.

"I know. I'm a whore! I'm a slut! Why would you want to be with me?!" she cried aloud and got up from the bed. As she was grabbing her jeans and shoes, Miles stopped her. She tried to pull away from him but he held her firmly.

"What are you doing?" he asked gruffly.

"I'm getting dressed and going home. I cheated on you! How can you stand to be around me?" He pulled her close to him until his face was mere inches away from her.

"You didn't cheat on me. Therefore, you don't have to go anywhere. You didn't do anything wrong."

"But I kissed him back! That has to mean something!"

"No it doesn't. You didn't initiate anything. He had you cornered, right?" she nodded her head slowly, tears still falling out of her eyes. "Come here." He whispered, hugging her body against his. "I love you okay? You did nothing wrong." He said, kissing her forehead. He let go of her and gently pulled her into the bathroom and picked her up and sat her on the countertop. He turned around and started to fill up his big bathtub with warm water and bubbles. Miles turned back to her and put his hands on her thighs and caressed her skin lightly.

" You're too good to me. I don't deserve you." She whispered. He lifted her face with her chin and looked into her eyes.

"No, you have that backwards. You're too good for me. I'm so lucky to have you in my life. I'm going to fight for you Jude. If he's going to try and tear us apart to get you back, I'm going to fight for you. This ring," he paused, pulling her hand in between them and fingering her ring, "Means that I will give my life up for you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you, taking care of you, loving you. You'll never get rid of me." He stated softly. Jude slightly smiled. He kissed her softly and then turned away to shut off the running water. Miles turned back to her and pulled up on the hem of her t-shirt; Jude holding her arms up and letting him pull it off. She let her hands trail up his front and start to unbutton his shirt, pulling the sides away and pushing it off his shoulders and down his arms. Miles rested his hands on her hips as her fingers started to undo his pants. He lifted her off of the counter and slid her panties down her thighs as she slid his boxers down his. Miles led Jude to the bathtub as he stepped in and then held her hand to help her. He sat down in the warm water as she sat down in between his legs. Jude laid against him as he grabbed a sponge and gently rubbed her chest and shoulders in a circular motion.

"I love you." She finally spoke.

"I love you too." He whispered in her ear. Jude turned her head so they were face to face. "Jude, will you move in with me?" She smiled and nodded her head. "Thank you." He leaned forward and kissed her passionately.

(I Hate Everything About You; By Three Days Grace)


	10. Chapter 7

7

It's not Over

_I was blown away.  
What could I say?  
It all seemed to make sense.  
You've taken away everything,  
And I can't deal with that.  
I try to see the good in life,  
But good things in life are hard to find.  
I'll blow it away, blow it away.  
Can we make this something good?  
Well, I'll try to do it right this time around._

_Let's start over.  
I'll try to do it right this time around.  
It's not over.  
'Cause a part of me is dead and in the ground.  
This love is killing me,  
But you're the only one.  
It's not over._

_I've taken all I can take,  
And I cannot wait.  
We're wasting too much time  
Being strong and holding on.  
Can't let it bring us down.  
My life with you means everything,  
So I won't give up that easily.  
I'll blow it away, blow it away.  
Can we make this something good?  
'Cause it's all misunderstood.  
Well, I'll try to do it right this time around._

_Let's start over.  
I'll try to do it right this time around.  
It's not over.  
'Cause a part of me is dead and in the ground.  
This love is killing me,  
But you're the only one.  
It's not over._

_We can't let this get away.  
Let it out, let it out.  
Don't get caught up in yourself.  
Let it out._

_Let's start over.  
I'll try to do it right this time around.  
It's not over.  
'Cause a part of me is dead and in the ground.  
This love is killing me,  
But you're the only one.  
It's not over._

_Let's start over.  
It's not over, yeah...  
This love is killing me,  
But you're the only one.  
It's not over._

Tommy popped the CD out of the player and put it in a case and laid it on the table in front of Kwest.

"Can you give this to her when she comes for dinner tonight?"

"Yeah. I will. I'll see you later." Kwest replied, walking out of Tommy's front door. Kwest walked to his SUV and drove to the apartment that he now lived in with Sadie.

It had been a week since Jude's nineteenth birthday. The week in between, Tommy had stuck himself in his home studio writing and re-writing his song for Jude. If the song didn't get her back, then he didn't know what to do. He couldn't believe that she was engaged; after everything that they had been through. After all of those months he tried to make himself emotionally stable so he could be with her. Tommy couldn't even remember why he had called her in the first place. He was so messed up on his emotions and thinking about the way he had hurt Portia that he didn't want to do the same thing to Jude, even though deep down in his heart he knew he couldn't because he loved her so much it hurt. After the heart wrenching phone call, he remembered laying in the bed of his hotel room and staring up at the ceiling, wishing that she was with him, laying in his arms. Four weeks after, Kwest had called him and told him about the music video Jude had made. Tommy didn't have access to a computer so he just left it in the back of his mind. Until now.

He walked into his home office and logged into you-tube. He found the music video he had been searching for and was speechless. Jude had looked beautiful, walking along the edge of a lake, hair lifting up in the breeze, until the end when he saw her in Miles' arms. He could see the love in her eyes as she looked at Miles right before they kissed. He had watched her kiss her other boyfriends before, but this was different. She was supposed to be his. Tommy felt a light tickle on his cheek as he wiped away a tear. He paused the video and stared at the still picture of Jude and Miles kissing. He couldn't hold back any longer. He grabbed his cell and speed dialed Kwest.

"Hey, can you come back? I'm coming with you."

* * *

"Sadie, I'm home!" Kwest yelled, walking into his and Sadie's apartment with Tommy following him. Sadie walked out of the kitchen and into the living to greet her boyfriend. She stopped in her tracks as soon as she saw Tommy.

"Kwest….you brought Tommy?"

"Yeah, I invited him for dinner. That's okay, right?"

"Uh, Yeah, it's okay with me. Uh Kwest, can I talk to you in the kitchen? Tommy, make yourself at home." She said, going into the kitchen with Kwest following her. "Kwest, what is he doing here? Jude and Miles will be here any minute? What were you thinking?"

"I was thinking that maybe my friend was hungry. He's been back a week and we've barely hung out together. I thought tonight it would be cool for him to be amongst friends." Kwest replied.

"Number one, Jude is not a friend, she is an ex, and second, Miles is defenantly not a friend, more like an enemy."

&%&%&%&%

"Sadie, we're here!" Jude shouted as she and Miles walked into the entryway. As Jude and Miles walked by the living room, Jude glanced in and stopped. Tommy got up from the couch and walked towards the couple. "Sadie!" Jude shouted again as she backed up against Miles.

"Jude." Tommy said, nodding.

"Tommy, wha….what are you doing here?" she asked as Miles put his arm around her waist and hips and pulled her tight against him. Tommy's eyes squinted in anger at the sight. Sadie and Kwest came out of the kitchen.

"Jude, Miles, you're here, good. Dinner's almost done. Jude, come help me in the kitchen. Kwest, keep Miles and Tommy company." Sadie walked back into the kitchen. Miles let go of Jude, but before she walked away, she turned around and kissed him. Tommy turned around at the sight and went to go sit back on the couch. Kwest sat on the couch next to Tommy as Miles took a chair across from them.

"So, Miles," Tommy started, "You met Jude through Jamie's record label?" Miles stared back at him.

"Well, Jude found my band at The Chain and then got me a contract and started to produce us. We didn't get along at first but after awhile she needed some new insight and a new pair of ears to listen to her. And I was there."

"Well that was nice of you." Tommy said in a low voice. He gripped the arm of the chair until Jude walked in.

"Miles, do you want something to drink; water, beer, soda?" She asked, standing in the doorway.

"A beer is good." Miles replied. Jude nodded and left. Tommy spoke up again.

"So, Jamie has no rules on interoffice relationships, especially producer-artist relationships?"

"Nope." He smiled. Jude came back in with Miles' beer. "Thanks Babe." He said, kissing her as she handed it to him. She smiled back at Miles and gave Tommy a sideways glance before walking out of the room.

"So, Miles, how old are you?" Tommy didn't think that Miles was too young, but nowhere near his age.

"I'm twenty-two. What about you? You're like thirty, right?" Tommy gripped at the arm of the couch again.

"No. Twenty-six. " he grunted.

* * *

"Sadie! What were you thinking?" Jude asked, taking a knife and cutting the tomatoes roughly.

"I didn't invite him. Kwest did. And I'm not going to be rude and kick somebody out for no reason." She replied, tossing salad into a bowl. After a few minutes of silence, Jude spoke up.

"Do you think it's safe to have them in the same room together? I mean, Tommy has a track record of not getting along with _any_ of my boyfriends." Just as she finished her response the two women heard a crash from the living room. "What the hell?" They ran from the kitchen to the living room to see Kwest pulling Tommy away from Miles. Miles was on the floor with a split lip. "Miles! Are you okay?" Jude asked, running to his side. He sat up from the floor and grabbed a hold of Jude as she helped him up.

"Yeah, I'm fine." He whispered, pulling her into a hug.

"What the hell happened?" Sadie asked.

"He started it!" Both Miles and Tommy said in unison. Jude and Sadie rolled their eyes.

"Miles, what happened?" Jude asked him, knowing he would tell her the truth.

"Well, he was asking questions about me, and then started to ask about us. Then he started getting a little personal. I guess he didn't like the answers I gave him." Jude looked to Tommy who still had anger in his eyes, just watching Miles touch Jude was too much for him. Jude turned to Sadie.

"Sades, we're leaving. We'll reschedule dinner." Then she turned to Tommy with an angry glare. "You, I expected better from you. I thought maybe you had matured at least a little bit while you were on your trip." Turning to Miles, "Come on, let's go." Before they walked out of the living room, Tommy spoke.

"Wait, Jude, you don't understand." Jude stopped and turned around and stared at him.

"No Tommy, you don't understand. Stay away from Miles, and stay away from me." She said. She turned around and ushered Miles out the door.

* * *

Miles and Jude walked out to his VRSCAW V-ROD Harley. Miles hopped onto the bike, but before he could put his helmet on, Jude lightly grabbed his arm.

"What kind of personal questions was he asking you?" Jude looked at him, curiousness in her eyes. Miles got off of the bike and stood in front of her.

"Questions along the lines of you, me, in a bed." He said sheepishly.

"You were egging him on, weren't you?" Jude accused. Miles looked down to the ground and slightly nodded. "Why did you do that?"

"I don't know. It's a testosterone thing, you wouldn't understand. It's like claiming property. I know you're not property but what I was basically doing was claiming you as mine, letting him know that you weren't his anymore." Jude groaned in frustration.

"Oh God! And I just yelled at him for being immature?! Get on the bike! We're going home." Jude shouted. They got on the bike, put on their helmets and pulled away from the curb.

* * *

Jude took off her messenger bag and set it on the kitchen counter while Miles went into the bathroom. She took out her journal and pencil but noticed something in her bag that wasn't in there before. She took out a CD case that was labeled IT'S NOT OVER. Jude looked down the hallway and walked silently into the spare bedroom that was turned into a home office. Jude took out her laptop and popped in the CD drive and plugged in her headphones. The song drifted through her ears and into her mind. At first she was surprised that she heard Tommy's voice but then realized that she knew that this was the only way he would be able to talk to her. Jude felt sudden remorse and regret. She had hurt Tommy just as bad as he had hurt her.

Jude now knew that she had to weigh her options. Tommy loved her, but so did Miles. 1-1. Tommy comes with a lot of emotional baggage. Miles doesn't. 1-2. Tommy and her have history. Four years, not counting the year he was gone. She had only been with Miles 8 months. 2-2. Tie breaker, Tommy had hurt her more times than she cares to remember. Miles had once and was honest about it and immediately apologized for it. 2-3. She loved Miles, she really did. But having Tommy back home was making her second guess herself and everything around her.

"It's not over. Not yet anyways."

(It's Not Over; by Chris Daughtry)


	11. Chapter 8

8

Beautiful Disaster

One month after Jude's 19th birthday

Jude walked through the front doors of G-Major and stepped straight into Darius' office. Tommy was in hospitality getting a cup of coffee when he saw Jude walk in. He hadn't seen or heard from her in three weeks, since that disastrous attempted dinner at Kwest's and Sadie's house. His emotions had been wracked, wondering if she had listened to his CD. He watched her walk into Darius' office without knocking.

"Jude! What a wonderful surprise!" Darius exclaimed, standing up from his desk and going around giving her a hug. Darius went back as Jude sat down across from him.

"Darius, I came here, today to tell you that I'm ready to start on my fourth album."

"Well that's good to hear Jude. I'm glad. I have some better news. Your third album has already hit triple platinum. Congratulations!"

"Wow, really?!" Jude smiled, feeling genuinely happy. She hadn't been _that _happy since her and Tommy's "field trip" when they had first gotten together. A knock sounded and Darius' door opened. _Think of the devil and he shall arrive. _Jude looked over her shoulder and saw Tommy walk in. Jude turned back around and stared at Darius in confusion. Darius caught her look.

"Tom has decided to come back to G-Major and continue to produce." As Darius spoke to her, Tommy sat down in the chair next to her. "Speaking of producing, did you want to produce your new album by yourself or with a co-producer?" Tommy looked to Jude with a quirked eyebrow. She looked back at him.

"Well it depends on my producing schedule at NBR and whether or not a certain producer here at G-Major can fit me into his." Jude stated slowly. She had heard that Tommy came back to G-major but she wasn't sure. Now that she was sure of it, she wanted him on her album. Since she was still with Miles, she still wanted Tommy in her life somehow. If not personally then professionally.

"Kwest?" Darius asked. Jude shook her head. She glanced at Tommy and he looked just as confused as Darius.

"I want Tommy." She said. Both Darius and Tommy looked at her in shock. "I want Tommy to co-produce my fourth album." Darius nodded with a smile. Tommy smiled as well, knowing that he would get time alone with his girl without Miles being around.

"Alright. Jude, do you have time to record in the studio today?" Jude nodded. "Good, why don't both of you get re-acquainted in Studio B." Darius said, standing up and walking out of his office.

"Well, are you ready to get back to work?" Jude asked happily. Tommy nodded, speechless that she was even talking to him and followed her out the office and into studio B. There was an awkward silence for a few minutes before Jude spoke up. "Tommy, I just want to apologize about what Miles said to you at Sadie's house a few weeks ago." Tommy looked up at her in surprise.

"He told you what he said?"

"Yeah. Look, before we start anything here, I just want you to know that I know you came back home to be with me. Even after you told me to get over you, which I still don't understand, but I'm with Miles. Engaged to Miles. And I'm going to stay with Miles. I love you, I always will, but you keep playing with me, toying with my emotions. Miles doesn't do that." Jude stated. Tommy looked at the ground with shame and then back up at Jude. "If it's all right with you, I want us to still be friends. I know deep down in both of our hearts we were meant to be together, If not personally, than professionally." Tommy was completely shocked.

_She admitted that she still loved me. She admitted that we were meant to be together. There's still hope for us. _ He thought with a smile.

"Deal." He said, holding out his hand. _I'll play your game for a little while. _He sat down in his chair and scooted back a little so he could stare up at her. "So, you said you have something to record?"

"Yeah, give me a few minutes to get ready okay?" she said, making her way into the booth as Tommy started the soundboard. She came back out and held out a CD to Tommy. "Um before we start, I just want to give you this. It's a CD I made of songs that I wrote while you were gone. I think some of them might have potential to be on my album, do you think you could listen to them later?"

"Yeah, sure, I can do that." Tommy said, taking the CD from Jude, but before she could walk back into the booth, Tommy grabbed her hand. "Can I just ask you one thing real quick, before we start?" Jude nodded. "If you had known I was home before Miles had proposed, would you have still said yes?" Jude closed her eyes in thought. She didn't pull her hand away from him. Jude definitely knew the answer to that question. She would've refused Miles, if she knew Tommy was home before he proposed. But she wasn't going to let him know that.

"Tommy," she whispered, "I don't know." Tommy nodded, stood up from his chair and gently pulled Jude closer to him. She allowed his arms around her as he held her tightly to him. Jude smelled his familiar cologne and went weak in the knees as she gladly gripped his sides with her hands.

Tommy smiled when he smelled her hair. The scent brought back memories of the night before he left. He brought up one of his hands and gently brushed her hair away from her ear and neck as he leaned down closer and kissed the spot underneath her ear. Expecting Jude to pull away, she instead leaned her head more to the side to allow him better access. Jude closed her eyes and sighed in ecstasy. Tommy's courage grew as he started to gently kiss her jaw, slowly making his way up to her mouth. Jude could feel his hot breath on her skin as he made his way to her lips. She gripped her hands that were on his ribs tighter in anticipation. All conscious thoughts were lost to both of them as their lips inched slowly toward each other. Jude still had her eyes closed as Tommy looked at her face. He smiled, knowing that he would get her back soon. He gripped his hand behind her head and slowly went in for the kiss. Right before their lips could touch, Jude's cell started to ring. Jude jumped and pulled away from him and pulled her phone out of her back pocket. Tommy noticed the look of shame on her face as she looked at her display and then answered her phone.

"Hey Babe, what's up?" She asked as she turned her back on Tommy. He knew she felt ashamed. Letting her producer/ex touch her the way only her fiancée could. Tommy sat back down in his chair and rubbed his face in frustration. Jude hung up the phone and turned to him. "Uh, Tommy, I'm sorry, but I have to go. That was Miles telling me that my Dad just came back in from a business trip and wanted to have lunch. I'm sorry. Do you have time tomorrow?"

"I have all the time in the world for you." He smiled. Jude put her hand on her hip and stared at him skeptically. He caught her look and quickly turned to look at his schedule. "Uh yeah, tomorrow at four?"

"Okay. Tomorrow at four. I'll see you later." She said, grabbing her bag and walking out the door.

Tommy sat in his chair speechless_, _he was completely confident that he was getting her back soon. Not even Miles could stand in his way.

He turned in his chair and looked at the CD, contemplating on whether he should listen to it then or later when he got home.

* * *

The next day…..

"I think it's happening." Miles said as he walked into Jamie's office.

"What do you mean? " Jamie asked confusingly, looking up at him.

"Remember when you told me I was screwed when I hooked up with Jude? Ever since she's seen Quincy at her birthday party, she's been pushing me away. I even asked her to move in with me so we could be closer but she's farther away than she's ever been. I don't know what to do." Miles said. He sat down in the chair in front of Jamie's desk defeated and sighed.

"Well, I can't say that I didn't warn you." He alleged and sat back in his chair with a smug smile.

"I wrote her a song like you suggested. I'm going to play it for her in today's session."

"Good luck my friend. Jude is finishing up a session with Jake and Shawn in about ten minutes. Tell me how it goes, okay?" Jamie said, turning back to his computer.

"All right, see you later." Miles said and departed Jamie's office.

Miles walked into the studio to see Jude setting up the sound bored and to see Jake and Shawn in the booth warming up. She hadn't heard him coming in so he walked up behind her and put his arms around her, scaring her and making her jump.

"Oh my God! Miles you scared me!" She exclaimed, turning around and slightly pushing him away. She turned back around and concentrated on the soundboard again.

"Uh Jude, I have a song that I wrote. Do you think you have a minute to listen before we start our session?" he asked tentatively.

"Uh, sure." Jude said. Miles pulled Jude over to the couch and sat her down. He grabbed an acoustic guitar and rolled a chair in front of her and sat down. He started to strum some chords and stared at her intently before he started to sing.

_She drowns in her dreams  
An exquisite extreme I know  
She's a damned as she seems  
More heaven than a heart could hold_

_And if I tried to save her  
My whole world could cave in  
Just ain't right  
It just ain't right_

_Oh and I don't know  
I don't know what she's after  
But she's so beautiful  
Such a beautiful disaster  
And if I could hold on  
Through the tears and the laughter  
Would it be beautiful  
Or just a beautiful disaster?_

_She's magic and myth  
As strong as what I believe  
A tragedy with  
More damage than a soul should see  
And do I try to change her?  
So hard not to blame her  
Hold on tight  
Hold on tight_

_Oh 'cause I don't know  
I don't know what she's after  
But she's so beautiful  
Such a beautiful disaster  
If I could hold on  
Through the tears and the laughter  
Would it be beautiful?  
Or just a beautiful disaster?_

_I'm longing for love and the logical  
But she's only happy hysterical  
I'm waiting for some kind of miracle  
Waiting so long  
So long_

_She's soft to the touch  
But frayed at the ends she breaks  
She's never enough  
And still she's more than I can take_

_Oh 'cause I don't know  
I don't know what she's after  
But she's so beautiful  
Such a beautiful disaster  
And if I could hold on  
Through the tears and the laughter  
Would it be beautiful?  
Or just a beautiful disaster?_

_She's beautiful  
Such a beautiful disaster  
Beautiful  
(Beautiful disaster)  
Beautiful disaster_

Jude stared at Miles, as tears started to run down her cheeks. Miles laid the acoustic guitar against a wall and went to her. He held her in his arms as she silently cried.

"Why are you crying? I thought you would've liked the song." He stated, whispering into her ear, combing her hair away with his fingers.

"I do like it. The song was beautiful." She smiled through her tears.

"I love you Jude." He said, looking into her eyes and kissing her.

Jamie walked in and cleared his throat. Jude and Miles parted and looked at him.

"Miles, pack up your guitar, I booked you a radio show tomorrow morning and a small concert at a club tomorrow night in Barrie. I know its last minute but they had a last minute cancelation. We need to leave soon so we can make it to the hotel at a decent hour. So go home and pack and meet back here at five." Jamie affirmed and left. Miles looked at his watch and realized that he had an hour and a half to go home and pack.

"Do you want to come home with me and help me pack?" he asked, raising his eyebrows in a suggestive way. Jude looked at her phone and realized the time.

"Um, no. I can't. I have to be at G-Major in half an hour. That won't be enough time." Jude said with a smirk. She turned away from Miles to grab her bag.

"Are you sure? Can't you be a little late?" Miles asked with a smile, reaching out and pulling her to him.

"No, I can't be late. If you knew my producer, you would understand. He's a slave-driving perfectionist. And I can't be late." She said and quickly kissed him on the lips and turned again to leave.

"If I didn't know better, I'd say your new producer sounds a lot like Tom Quincy." At the sound of his name, Jude stopped dead in her tracks and slowly turned to face him. She slowly nodded, afraid of what his reaction would be. Miles stood still, anger raging through his veins.

"Was he assigned to you or did you pick him?" He scoffed.

"You're not going to like my answer." Jude said in a low voice. Miles walked up to her and stood in front of her.

"I need to go home and pack. I'll call you later on my out to Barrie." He muttered angrily, kissed her on the cheek and left.

*Beautiful Disaster by Kelly Clarkson


	12. Chapter 9

9

**Forewarning, lemons in this chapter.

No Regrets Vol. II

Tommy sat in Studio B for hours, listening to her CD over and over again. He had fallen asleep to her voice the night before when he listened to it then, and he was still mesmerized by her voice now. He looked at his watch and realized that she would be there within a few minutes. Tommy turned his attention back to the current song.

_"No Regrets, Vol. II"_

_All the pain that haunts me still._

_And all the shame surrounding you, is now the past that I can't kill._

_Forever wrapped around me._

_And all the sadness was your life,_

_are now the things that I can't hide._

_It's just a fear that's deep inside,_

_from all the years of hiding._

Jude slowly walked through the studio doorway. Tommy acknowledged her presence but didn't turn off the music. Jude sat down on the couch across from him and they stared at each other while the song played on.

_There's a ghost that's inside of my mind,_

_and a pain is still haunting me._

_So I can never go back and rewind._

_And I can never have peace or be still._

_Somebody take this away._

_But I have lived for you,_

_and every single little thing you do._

_But I have lived for you,_

_and I won't kill myself for loving you._

_They took you far away from me,_

_so I could never find you._

_They made me blind but I can see,_

_the loaded gun behind you._

_The end of all that this boy knew,_

_inside of me was the inside of you._

_I miss the way we used to be,_

_when I was what would bring you through._

_Because I have lived for you,_

_and every little thing you do._

_But I can't rise above your lies,_

_that you have gladly made your life._

_And I won't kill myself for loving you._

"So you don't regret being with me?" Tommy asked; Jude shook her head no. They were silent for a few more minutes before Jude got up from the couch and paced the room. "What's wrong?" Tommy asked, watching her worriedly.

"It's Miles." Jude stated. She kept pacing the room at a slow rate.

"What about him?" Tommy asked hopefully. Jude shook her head again.

"He's mad at me. He's mad at me because I wanted you as a producer. And I didn't tell him." She said as she sat back down on the couch and held her face in her hands. Tommy got up from his chair and sat down next to her. He wrapped his arm around her shoulders. After a few minutes of sniffles and sighs from Jude and encouraging arm squeezes from Tommy, Miles quietly walked through the door. Miles was surprised and disgruntled at the view of Quincy hugging his girl. He cleared his throat so they knew he was in the room.

"Jude, I'm sorry." Miles said, walking to Jude and kneeling on the ground in front of her. Tommy removed his arm from her and stood, excusing himself and leaving the studio only to stand right outside the door. Jude looked at Miles with tears in her eyes. "Jude, you've always been honest with me, how come you didn't tell me he was your new producer?" Jude looked away from him and mumbled. Miles pulled her face back towards him and pointedly looked into her eyes. "Say that again, except more clearer and louder." Miles ordered softly.

"I said I'm sorry." She pulled away from him and stood from the couch and started to pace the room again. "I'm sorry I didn't confide my feelings to you the way that I used to. Tommy's home and I don't know what to do." A look of sadness washed over Miles.

"Jude, are you breaking up with me?"

"No. I'm not. I could never hurt you that way. I love you so much and I still love him, and I have all this bottled up emotions and I don't know what to do anymore." Jude wailed, throwing her arms out and facing the wall. Miles walked over to Jude and pulled her to him tightly.

"Why don't you come to Barrie with me tonight? We can have some time together, talk some things over. Maybe write a song?" Miles asked hopefully. Jude shook her head.

"No. I just need some time by myself to think." She replied. Jude stood on her tip toes and kissed Miles softly on the lips. "I'll see you when you get home." She pulled away from him and walked out of the studio. Jude didn't notice Tommy on her way out the door and kept walking until she left the building. Miles, on the other hand, walked out of the studio slowly and stopped when he noticed Quincy standing just outside the door frame. Miles quickly turned and rammed Tommy against the wall.

"This is your fault. You should've stayed gone." Miles assaulted. Tommy pushed him back. "You should've stayed there like you told her. We had no problems at all until you showed up and now you've done nothing but cause them."

"If I didn't know any better, I'd say you're scared of losing her to me. You're scared, thinking that she's using you as a way to get over me, and now that I'm home, she won't need you anymore." Tommy fired back. Miles stepped away but kept staring at him. He pointed his finger at Tommy and glared.

"I'll warn you and I'll warn you once, don't come near my girl." He said walking away and out of the building.

"She was my girl first" Tommy muttered as he walked back into the studio.

* * *

Later that night at The Chain…

Jude sat at the corner of the bar and was on her third shot of tequila. Thoughts were running through her head at lightening speed. She knew one thing. She loved Miles, but she still loved Tommy. _Why did everything have to be so confusing?_

"I'll have what she's having." Jude turned to her left and saw Tommy sitting down onto the stool next to her. The bartender gave him a shot glass filled with tequila. He picked up the shot glass and downed its contents and slammed the glass down on the bar. "Wow, tequila, never knew you were into the strong stuff, Harrison."

"Well, I never was until you left." Jude muttered. Tommy stared at her and smiled softly.

"You always knew how to make a man feel special." Tommy said.

"Likewise. Except for a girl." Jude replied. She signaled for the bartender and he gave her and Tommy another shot.

"So what brings you here?" Tommy asked, putting his shot glass down.

"You, Miles, me. I had to think. I had to get away from everyone." She stated, slamming her shot quickly. "I have to go." She said, standing up from her stool. As soon as she started to walk away, Jude nearly lost her balance and had to hold onto the edge of the bar. Tommy quickly stood up from his stool and went to her side to help her.

"Come on, let me walk you home. You've clearly had more shots than I have." He said, putting his arm around her waist and guiding her out the door.

Jude kept her face averted, not letting him see her eyes, for in them he would surely see the longing she has to touch him, and that is something he must never know. For now, anyway.

They reached a quiet and secluded spot at the pier. Coming to sit next to Jude on the bench, Tommy captured her gaze and refused to look away. Compelled, Jude gazed back at him, letting down her defenses and putting in her eyes all she can't say.

"Tell me abut it." he said.

For a moment, Jude thought he meant her thoughts and desires about him. She wanted to tell him, and her mouth started to form the words to let him know how she thought about him, how there were times when she looked at him and she longed to put her hands on his face, and draw it close to hers, and like a gentle whisper of air, brush her lips against his, just to see if it's magic, just to taste heaven again, but she remembered, just in time, that she couldn't tell him her desires. She had to keep it hidden. So instead she looked away, and let him think the tears that fill her eyes are from another pain, a different pain, an acceptable pain.

Tommy gently turned her face to his, making her look at him, and seeing her struggle to deny her anguish, he drew her into his embrace, seeking to comfort her, to help make it better. She burrowed deeper, inhaling his scent, his essence, and realized, right or wrong, this was inevitable. Fearing he will never know this same certainty. She laid her head against his chest, and absorbed his warmth, knowing that this may be all she will ever have of him to cling to.

Jude became aware of the chill in the night air and trembled slightly.

"You're cold," Tommy stated, and took his jacket off and drew it around her shoulders, accidentally brushing her breast. Jude felt a jolt of awareness and sucked in her breath, hoping he wouldn't notice her response. When her gaze met his, she saw in his eyes an echo of her own reaction.

Without taking his eyes off hers, Tommy slowly leaned toward her and softly touched his lips with hers. It was barely a breath before he backed away, gauging her reaction, absorbing his own. And then they come together, quickly, hungrily, two people who realized at the very same instant that passion like this couldn't be denied. Jude twined her arms around his neck and pulled him closer; feeling his lips, his tongue, and his teeth. She wanted more, needed more, and gave more.

"Let's go to my house." Tommy whispered against her lips. Jude shook her head.

"No. My house. It's closer." She said, as she pulled him from the bench and pulled him down the sidewalk. They got to the townhouse she shared with Miles, and opened the front door. Jude pulled him up the stairs to the bedroom. She practically threw Tommy on the bed and got on top of him so she straddled his hips. Jude kissed him. As Tommy deepened the kiss, Jude ran her hands down his chest, then up under his shirt, feeling the muscles play beneath her fingertips. Jude strained to be closer, wanting to touch him and be touched by him. Tommy's lips left hers and trailed down her throat, causing her back to arch, giving him access to her breasts. Her nipples were hard, begging for his touch. He kissed them through her shirt. Jude pulled her shirt over her head and reached behind her, undoing her bra while he watched through half closed eyes.

"I missed you, so much." He said, reaching out, tracing a finger around her aureole, causing shivers to race through her body. He leaned toward her and took her nipple in his mouth, causing her to cry out with want. He caressed her with his tongue, gently biting and nipping, causing her to grow moist with desire.

Jude became more brazen and boldly stroked his body. She felt his erection between them, and slowly unzipped his pants, taking him in her hands. She felt him pulsing with desire. She looked at his face, seeing that his eyes were closed, and knew that she had control over this moment. Jude stripped him of his clothes and pushed him back against the pillows so he was almost reclining, and draped her hair over his body, letting it fall gently over his chest and stomach, dragging it over him until she finally reached the center of his need, brushing it softly over his penis, wrapping the silky strands around it, and using her hand to move the satin web up and down the shaft. Jude could feel the tension mount within him, and feeling bolder, she slowly ran her tongue around the tip of his pulsating flesh, flicking it back and forth over the head, and then taking him deep into her mouth. She sucked on him with utter abandon while her hands stroked and caressed him. Jude heard his intake of breath and knew that he was as caught up as she was.

Suddenly Tommy reached for her, taking her by the shoulders and pressing her back against the pillows. He watched her as she spread her legs, inviting him to come between them. He slowly sunk into her, inch by inch, studying her face as she tried so hard not to cry out, to demand more. Her hips thrust toward him as if of their own will, and her hands found their way to his butt, pulling him deeper in. He buried himself, and felt her legs wrap around him, her body moving, enticing him, and bringing him closer to orgasm. Her moist heat was almost more than he could take, and she was so tight. He could feel her body clench around him as her own release was building. It was coming so fast, almost too fast, but they had both been waiting for so long, without knowing what they were waiting for, and they could feel it building as their bodies were pounding together, thrusting, heaving; And finally it broke over them both, waves of dizzying heat and satisfaction. He pulsed into her, feeling her spasm around him, and they lost their breath to the sensations.

Slowly they become aware of where they were, and what they had done. When Tommy looked at Jude, he could read the concern, the worry in her eyes, wondering what her reaction to this encounter would be.

Tommy moved off of Jude and laid next to her on the bed. He felt completely wonderful, knowing he now had her back and without even trying very hard. Jude turned on her side away from him and Tommy notice her body start to shudder. He turned toward her and wrapped his arms around her. She quickly pulled away from him and out of bed and ran into the bathroom, locking the door behind her. Tommy could hear her crying through the door. He got out of the bed and went to it.

"Jude? Are you okay?" he asked through the door. She slowly stopped crying and then he could hear her bare footsteps coming to the door. She hastily opened it. She was wearing a black terry cloth robe with puffy pink eyes and flushed cheeks. She glared at him.

"Get out." She said in a low, growling voice.

"But Jude," Tommy stuttered.

"No. Tonight I did the one thing I promised myself I would never do. Ever since my dad cheated on my mom, I promised myself I would never cheat on my boyfriend or husband, but in this case fiancé. And of course you, of all people, helped me do it! Get out!" she yelled, picking up his clothes and throwing them at him. "I'm not going to hurt Miles the same way my dad hurt me, or the way you hurt me! I can't do it. Just leave." She said, exhaustedly. She sat down on the bed with her back toward him. Tommy slowly got dressed, pulling up his jeans and putting on his shirt. He walked over to Jude and crouched down on the floor. Tommy put his hands on her face and made her look at him. Tears were making wet trails down her face and then continued down Tommy's palms.

"Jude, I'm sorry." He said in a cracked voice. "I'll leave. But I just want you to know that I love you. I always will." He spoke softly. He leaned up to her and kissed her softly before standing up and leaving the bedroom.

* * *

Two days later…..

After dropping his stuff at G-Major, Tommy was walking down the street to Starbucks to get some coffee and a scone. As he was walking by a newspaper stand, something caught his eye. He stopped and looked at a tabloid. A picture of Miles and Jude were on the cover with the caption: INSTANT WEDDING: JUDE HARRISON MARRIES MILES DAVENPORT OF ASTROPHEL IN A VEGAS CHAPEL! DETAILS ON PG. 23

Tommy did a double take. _It's on a tabloid. It's got to be fake. _He paid for the tabloid and high-tailed it back to G-Major. He locked himself in his office and called Sadie.

"Hello?"

"Sadie, is it true? Did Jude get married?" he asked, anticipating her answer. He called her, knowing she would tell him if the tabloid was fact or fiction. Sadie was silent for a long moment.

"Yes, Tommy, she got married."

"In Vegas?!" he shouted over the phone.

"Yes, in Vegas, please don't shout at me. I didn't know until she called me afterward."

"Well, why didn't you or Kwest call to tell me?"

"What would you have done? Fly down there and demand that they get an annulment?" she asked. Sadie was starting to get irritated.

"I don't know. Maybe. Is she home?" he was hoping yes, so he could go see he her to either strangle her pretty little neck or take her and bend her over to have his way with her.

"No. She and Miles flew out to Fiji for their honeymoon. They were able to book one of those little tiny private islands all to themselves at the last minute, thanks to Darius."

"Darius? Darius knew too? Am I the last one to know?" he asked incredulously.

"No, I'm sure your not. Look, I'm really busy, I have work to do."

"Yeah, ok. Tell Kwest I'll call him later. Thanks for your help Sadie." He said sadly.

"Tommy, if it means anything to you, I'm sorry." She said and hung up. Tommy laid his phone on the desk and thought for a few minutes before getting up and charging his way to Darius' office. He walked right in without knocking and found Darius behind his desk, talking on the phone. Darius excused himself from his phone call and hung up, and then glared at Tommy.

"How dare you just waltz in here like you own the place?" he stated, getting up from his chair.

"No! How dare you! How could you let her do it?"

"Are we talking about Jude?"

"Yes! Why did you let her get married? If you told her no, she wouldn't have done it!" Tommy accused. Darius sat back down in his chair.

"Yes she would have. Jude is a big girl and can make her own decisions. I trust her judgment." Tommy couldn't believe his ears. Darius, trust Jude? The same Darius that had Jude under his thumb because of all of the mistakes she made? Darius saw the look of disbelief in his face. "Yes I trust Jude. She didn't stay with you. I think she made the right choice going for Miles instead of you. You would've screwed her up in one way or another. Remember Hunter? That situation really messed with her." Darius stated with a smug smile.

"Remember the deal that we made? I wanted Jude's music catalog and in turn you wanted me to testify for Portia when her trial came up and to stay with G-Major? Consider that deal over with. I'm leaving." Tommy stated angrily and walked out of the office.

*No Regrets Vol. II by Saliva


	13. Chapter 10

10

Blurry

Two weeks after the Vegas wedding...

Jude and Miles walked hand in hand into NBR, their first day back from their honeymoon. Numerous people congratulated them as they walked through the lobby and finally walked into Jude's office. They hadn't noticed a male figure sitting in her chair, as they stopped short of the door and started to make out. A throat cleared, tearing them apart as they both looked toward her desk and saw Tommy sitting in her chair.

"Oh please, don't let me interrupt you." He said sarcastically, standing up from the chair.

"What the hell? What are you doing here?" Miles demanded. Tommy came out from behind the desk and walked toward them.

"I work here. You are now looking at the third co-owner of NBR." He said with a cocky grin.

"You've got to be fucking kidding me." Miles muttered underneath his breath. Only Jude heard.

"Uh, when did this happen?" Jude asked Tommy, while walking past him and setting her things down on her desk.

"About a week ago." Tommy said shortly. Tommy turned to Jude and walked closer to her while Miles was still standing by the doorway. "Can I talk to you privately for a few minutes?" When Miles heard Tommy's request, he quickly walked to Jude and put his arm around her.

"No. We have a session. We're really behind considering we got married and had a honeymoon at the last minute." Miles inserted.

"Jude, it'll just be a minute." Tommy said, almost pleadingly. Jude could barely handle the situation, much less handle Tommy alone.

"Um, No. We need to get started." She said, looking up at Miles and leading him out of the room. Tommy stood alone in her office and sighed.

* * *

Later that day in Studio 2…

"You're not getting it right!" Jude shouted through the mic.

"Well, I sang the damn song every single way that you asked me too! I don't know how you want it!" Miles shouted back.

"Well maybe I shouldn't have let you talk me into letting you use _my_ song on _your _album!" she shouted back.

Tommy was walking by the studio and heard their shouting match. Intrigued, he walked to the studio and stood in the doorway.

"Fine! Why don't you come in here and show me how you want me to sing it!" Miles shouted, finally giving up. Jude got up out of her chair and walked briskly into the sound booth. Miles handed her the guitar roughly and walked out and sat in the studio.

"Shawn, count us in." Jude said. Shawn smacked his drum sticks together and at the count of three Jude and Jake started to play.

_Everything's so blurry_

_and everyone's so fake_

_everybody's empty_

_and everything is so messed up_

_preoccupied without you_

_I cannot live at all_

_my whole world surrounds you_

_I stumble and I crawl_

_& you could be my someone_

_you can be my scene_

_you know that I'll protect you_

_from all of the obscene_

_I wonder what your doing_

_imagine where you are_

_there's oceans in between us_

_but that's not very far_

_can you take it all away_

_can you take it all away_

_well you shoved it in my face_

_this pain you gave to me_

_can you take it all away_

_can you take it all away_

_well you shoved it in my face_

_this pain you gave to me_

_everyone is changing_

_there's no one left that's real_

_make up your own ending_

_and let me know just how you feel_

_cause I am lost without you_

_I cannot live at all_

_my whole world surrounds you_

_I stumble then I crawl_

_you could be my someone_

_you can be my scene_

_you know that I will save you_

_from all of the unclean_

_I wonder what your doing_

_I wonder where you are_

_there's oceans in between us_

_but that's not very far_

_Can you take it all away_

_Can you take it all away_

_well you shoved it in my face_

_the pain you gave to me_

_Nobody told me what you thought_

_nobody told me what to say_

_everyone showed you where to turn_

_showed you when to run away_

_nobody showed you where to hide_

_nobody told you what to say_

_everyone showed you where to turn_

_showed you when to run away_

_Can you take it all away_

_can you take it all away_

_can you take away the pain_

_the pain you gave to me_

_this pain you gave to me_

Tommy walked into the room slowly clapping. Miles turned around and glared at him.

"What do you want?" Miles inquired.

"Nothing. I heard you and Jude argue and then I stood here and listened to her sing. She's incredible."

"Yeah, that's one thing we can agree on." Miles replied. Jude stepped out of the sound booth and walked up to Miles.

"That is how I want you singing the song. I want raw emotion. That's how I wrote it." She said. She turned slightly and then noticed Tommy. "Tommy, what are you doing here?"

"Nothing. Just walking by. I heard your song. It's great. I think you should put it on your fourth album."

"So, since you quit G-Major, who's going to help produce my fourth album?" Jude asked, sitting down in the chair and staring up at Tommy.

"You'll probably produce it by yourself. After all, you're a big girl. You did decide to get married." He said and turned around to walk away.

* * *

Later that night…

Jude shut her office door and walked down the hallway. It was 10:43 PM and Jude thought she was the last one in the building. As she walked by one of the studios, a pair of arms grabbed her and pulled her in. She heard the lock on the door click and turned around to see Tommy with his hands on the door.

"Tommy, what are you doing?" she asked exasperated.

"Don't worry Jude, I just want to talk." Jude sat down on the couch.

"Okay then, talk. I want to get home."

"Home to your husband?" Tommy asked disdainfully. Tommy sat down in a chair and rolled himself in front of her.

"Yeah." Jude mumbled. Tommy scooted up to her, only a few inches away. He took her hands and held them, anticipating the moment she would take them away. She didn't.

"Jude, what happened that night?" She knew what night he was talking about, the night she had given herself to him, when she wasn't hers to give. After Tommy had left, Jude had the sudden urge to see and talk to Miles. She had showered and dressed and had left in her mustang, driving to Barrie in the middle of the night.

"After you left. I left. I drove to Barrie that night. I stayed with Miles until after he did his concert the next night and talked him into going to Vegas and we left immediately afterwards, going to the airport and catching the next flight out. He was more than willing to leave with me to get married." Jude said with sadness in her voice. The whole time she had been away, she wanted to call him and apologize for letting him go so easily when she could tell he was fighting for her. Tommy looked at her with tears in his eyes.

"Why couldn't we have runaway together to get married?" he asked. Jude looked at him in shock. _Did he just say he wanted to get married? _

"Because I love Miles." She said softly.

"I know you love Miles. But I've seen the way you are with him. It's the same way you acted when you were with Jamie. I know you love me more. I can tell by the way you look at me compared to Miles. Why did you get with him?" Jude tore her hands away from his and looked away from him.

"Because you told me too. You told me to get over you. You told me that you were just going to mess up my life. Because you told me that you weren't coming home." She cried. Jude stood up from the couch and walked over to the door. He watched her. She looked back at him one last time. "Your right. I do love Miles, but not the same way that I love you. I'm sorry." She said and left.

* * *

5 weeks later…

"Jude, I think you need to go see the doctor." Miles pleaded. It was the third day in a row now that Jude had been throwing up all day.

"Fine! I'll call and make an appointment, if it's the only way to get you off my back." Jude muttered. The whole seven weeks they had been married, Miles had started to smother her and Jude didn't like it. They were starting to fight a lot. She would yell at him for doing the simplest things wrong and he would fight back with her. They would be in the studio for hours arguing about how he played or sang.

Tommy could tell that there was trouble in paradise. He would usually come in half way through their argument to play mediator. Other employees would complain about the yelling and screaming and Jamie would go in and the yelling would stop, but a few minutes after he would leave the yelling would start again. Then Tommy would go in and Jude would tell him the problems and he would mediate. Sometimes he would sit in on the rest of the session, much to Miles' displeasure. On those days, Tommy was happy. He spent time with Jude without Miles breathing down his neck. Any other time outside of the studio like in hospitality or in either his or her office, Miles would act all territorial with Jude with his arm around her or kissing her any chance he got, just because he knew Tommy would get mad. And in return, Jude would get mad at Miles for acting so childish.

The moment Jude and Miles walked into the label that day, Jude hightailed it to the bathroom. Jamie walked up to Miles.

"Is Jude okay?" Jamie asked with a worried expression. Miles smiled at him.

"Yeah. She's okay. She's going to call her doctor and make an appointment." Miles leaned in closer to Jamie. "I think she might be pregnant but every time I say the P word she throws something at me. I mean she's got the morning sickness and the mood swings. She sometimes gets dizzy when she stands up and I know she's been more tired lately. Just don't tell her I said anything to you. We've been fighting a lot lately and I don't need another thing for her to yell at me for." Miles said.

"Well, congrats man. Don't worry, I won't say anything to her." Jamie said with a smile and they walked away toward studio 2. Little did they know that Tommy was a few feet away and had heard everything they had said.

Tommy had butterflies in his stomach. _Jude, pregnant?_ He walked into Jude's office and waited for her behind the door. Moments later Jude walked in and was shocked to find Tommy closing her door and locking it.

"Tommy, you scared me." She said, putting her bag on her desk. Tommy walked up to her slowly.

"Is it true?"

"Is what true?" she asked, sitting down at her desk. Tommy walked to the desk and leaned toward her.

"Are you pregnant?" Jude looked at him with shock in her eyes. She looked away.

"I don't know. I have to make an appointment today and go see my doctor before I can say that I am." She said softly, taking interest in the poster hanging on her wall so she could avoid eye contact. Tommy went around the desk to her and made her look at him.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because it's most likely not yours." She stated. Tommy was starting to get irritated.

"Jude, we had sex. And from what I can remember, I didn't use a condom."

"Yeah. And neither did Miles the whole time we were on our honeymoon. I was still on birth control."

"You know that's not one hundred percent, right?" Tommy inquired.

"Yes, I know that! But we only did it the one time compared to the numerous times Miles and I…" Jude trailed off, knowing that, that statement was making Tommy uncomfortable.

"It only takes one time." Tommy retorted and walked out of the office, leaving Jude to ponder the possibilities.

*Blurry by Puddle of Mud


	14. Chapter 11

11

Apologize

The Next Day…

Jude walked through the door of the townhouse late afternoon. She could hear Miles play his guitar in the spare bedroom that was turned into an office/music room. She slammed the door shut and threw her bag onto the floor and screamed. Miles stopped playing his guitar when he heard Jude scream. He ran out of the room and down the stairs and found her still in the entryway. Her arms rigid by her sides and her hands balled into fists.

"Jude? Are you okay? How was the doctor visit?" Miles asked timidly. Jude sat down on the floor roughly and started to cry. Miles knelt down in front of her and grabbed her face so she could look at him. "Jude, what's the matter?"

"The Doctor confirmed it. I-I-I'm p-p-pregnant!" she stuttered and cried louder.

"Baby, this should be a happy time. Why are you crying?" Jude looked at him, tears streaming down her cheeks.

"I don't want to be pregnant."

"Why not?"

"I just barely turned 19. We've only been married just under 2 months. It's too soon. I wanted to wait." She cried. "I wanted to wait at least a few more years. It's too soon." She repeated. Of course that was one of the reasons that Jude was upset. Tommy's words kept shouting at her in the back of her mind on her way home. _It only takes one time. _She knew that. She wasn't stupid. But really, she and Miles were like wild animals on their honeymoon, and the one time she slept with Tommy, what would the chances be that the unborn child belong to Tommy? "I need some air, I'll be back later." Jude said suddenly, standing up from the floor and grabbing her abused bag out of the corner and walked out the door, leaving Miles speechless with her actions.

* * *

After driving aimlessly around Toronto, out of the places she could've gone to, she ended up in front of Tommy's house.

Tommy was sitting in his living room, channel surfing on his TV when he heard a car pull up into his driveway. He got off the couch and peeked out the window. To his surprise, he saw the baby blue mustang sitting idle behind his car. He noticed the blonde sitting in the driver's seat, anticipating her moves to exit the vehicle. After a few minutes of watching Jude not get out of her car, Tommy decided to meet her outside.

Jude was caught. She was trying to get the nerve to get out of her car and go knock on the front door, but was too late when she heard a knock on her window. Jude saw Tommy standing by her car, waiting patiently for her exit. She slowly opened the door and stepped out of the car. Jude stood face to chest with Tommy. She looked up at him with sorrow in her eyes. Tommy held out his hand to her and she timidly accepted it, letting him lead her into his house. He led Jude into the living room and gently pushed her to sit on the couch. Tommy took his seat on the coffee table across from Jude.

"I'm pregnant." Jude whispered. Tommy looked down at the floor.

"How long?" he whispered back, keeping his eyes on his sock covered feet.

"Seven weeks." Jude sniffled. Tommy looked at her in sympathy.

"I'm sorry."

"For what?" she asked confusingly.

"For every bad thing I've put you through. Even loving you has hurt you." He stated sadly and got up from the table and started to walk away.

"That's not true." Jude said loudly. Tommy stopped at the entryway of the living room and turned around toward her.

"Of course it's true. We made love and I made you feel guilty for cheating on Miles. Now, you're pregnant and you don't know who the father is and that is tearing you up inside. I've wanted nothing more than to not hurt you but apparently it's the one thing I've done best. Maybe your life would be better if we never would've met."

"No!" Jude screamed, standing up and walking over to him. "My life would be worse if I would've never met you. You are my life and I love you." She said softly, taking a step closer to him, their faces mere inches apart. Tommy lifted his hands up to her face and stared intently into his eyes.

"I love you too." He whispered and inched toward her and kissed her softly on the lips. He pulled away slightly and looked into her eyes again. "I want you to know that I am here for you and the baby. Whether the baby is mine or not, I will be here to take care of you." He kissed her again, this time Jude pulled away.

"I have to go." She whispered. He nodded his head and let her go. Jude slowly made her way to the front door. Before she opened it, Tommy spoke.

"Jude, if you need anything or just to talk; please call me." He said.

"I will." She responded and walked out the door.

* * *

Jude and Miles walked down the busy street downtown on their way to Starbucks. Miles stopped Jude by grabbing her hand and pulling her close to him. He pointed to the store that he had stopped them in front of.

"Let's go inside." He suggested. Jude looked at all the pastel colors and the frilly things hanging in the window. She saw a crib in the corner of the window and a rocking chair next to it. He wanted to take her into a baby store.

"Miles, I just want to go get the coffee before we're late for the morning meeting. We'll come back later, I promise." Jude said with a fake smile. She didn't want to go in there. She had known that she was officially pregnant for two days, and she still wasn't happy about it. Jude turned around and looked at the newspaper stand. She glanced at a few tabloid covers and almost fainted. INSTANT WIFE TO INSTANT HARLOT! IS JUDE HARRISON CHEATING ON HER NEW HUSBAND WITH EX-BOYBANDER BAD BOY TOMMY Q? There were pictures of Tommy holding her hand in front of his house and pictures of them kissing in his living room. Jude quickly turned back around to Miles and grabbed him by the arm and pulled him away from the baby store. "Come on, I really need my coffee." She said, pulling him away as fast as she could.

They walked into NBR 15 minutes later. Jude had no problem keeping Miles averted from the newspaper stand on their way back. His eyes were too focused on the baby store again. Jude practically ran up to her office and slammed the door shut and locked it. She paced the room in circles trying to get a grip of herself.

_Oh my God! This can't be happening. Miles is going to kill me. He's going to kill Tommy!_ At the thought of Tommy, Jude unlocked her door and swung it open and ran right into a hard body. She looked up and saw Tommy gaze down at her. Jude quickly grabbed him and pulled him into her office and locked the door again.

"Jude, are you okay? What's going on?" he asked confusingly. Jude didn't say a word. She walked to the computer on her desk and pulled up one of the tabloid websites. She found the cover and motioned Tommy to go over to her. She pointed at the screen.

"Oh fuck me." He muttered as he read the headlines.

"I already did. And now the whole world seems to know about it!" Jude said cynically. Tommy went to Jude and pulled her to him.

"Does Miles know?" he asked softly. Jude pulled away and shook her head. All of a sudden the handle on the door started to shake and then the pounding started.

"Jude! Open up, right now!" she heard Miles' angry voice. Jude stood still, knowing what was coming.

"Don't worry. I'll get it." Tommy said. He walked over to the door and unlocked it. Tommy opened the door slowly to face Miles. His face was red with anger and his hands balled up into fists. All of a sudden Miles' fist went back and launched itself into Tommy's face. Tommy fell to ground. Jude ran over to him and sat down by his head, cradling it in her lap. Miles stood rigid still as he stared at his wife caring for the man he hated most.

"Jude lets go." Miles demanded, holding out his hand. Jude looked up at him and then back down at Tommy. He was blinking his eyes rapidly, trying to get them focused. His cheek was swelling quickly as blood trickled slowly from a cut caused by Miles' wedding ring. Jude helped Tommy up to his feet and Tommy gently pushed Jude behind his back to protect her.

"She's not going anywhere with you." Tommy stated. "There's no way I'm letting her leave with you until you calm down." Miles paced back and forth like an angry tiger. He grunted loudly, sounding like an angry tiger.

"Miles please calm down so we can talk about this." Jude pleaded. Miles stopped pacing and looked at her sharply.

"Calm down? Calm down! My wife tells me to calm down after I find out she's cheating on me with her ex!" he shouted, staring at them with hatred.

"Miles, it's not what it looks like! Let us explain." Tommy offered. Miles turned his angry stare solely on Tommy. He took a rolled up magazine out of his back pocket and unrolled it, staring at the cover. He turned the tabloid over and faced the cover to Tommy and Jude.

"Then tell me what this looks like? It looks like you're kissing _my_ wife. It looks like it was more than a _friendly_ gesture!" Miles spat. Tommy and Jude stood silently, both not knowing what to say. Miles turned to the wall and growled loudly right before putting his fist through it and walking out the door.

Jude walked away from Tommy and sat down on the couch aligning the wall. Tommy followed and crouched down on the floor in front of her. Jude held her head in her hands while her shoulders shook from her silent cries.

"It's going to be alright. We'll fix this." Tommy said softly, laying his hands on her knees and lightly rubbing them. Jude shook her head violently.

"No! We can't fix this! I can't fix this! We're in too deep!" Jude cried. Tommy stood up and pulled Jude with him and embracing her. Her body shook with her cries. They stood in silence for a few moments before they heard a throat being cleared.

"So it's true. You're cheating on Miles with him." Jamie stated from the doorway. Tommy let go of Jude and walked to him.

"Andrews, mind your own god damn business. This," he said, grabbing the tabloid from Jamie's hands and shoving it into his shoulder, "is mine and Jude's business. Not yours." Tommy declared angrily. Jamie backed off a little bit, fear showing in his eyes.

"I don't care whose business it is as long as this _situation _doesn't affect NBR in any way." He said seethingly and walked away. Tommy turned back to Jude, who didn't move an inch. He walked back to her and held her again. "Come on, let me take you home. You're obviously stressed and it's not good for the baby." He whispered. She lightly nodded her head in agreement and stepped away from him to grab her bag.

* * *

They were sitting in Tommy's living room on the couch. Tommy was at one end and Jude was lying down with her head in his lap as he was stroking her hair softly. A knock on the door interrupted the serene silence. Jude lifted up her head so Tommy could get the door. The knocks on the door were getting impatient and louder. He opened the door to see Kwest. Kwest quickly walked in without looking at Tommy and made his way into the living room. Tommy followed his friend into the living room where Jude was. Kwest sat down on the couch next to her and looked at her with pain in his face. Tommy noticed immediately that Kwest had bad news.

"Kwest, what's going on?" he asked, sitting down in a chair across from them. Kwest turned to Jude and took both of her hands .

"Jude, something happened. Miles got into a motorcycle accident… he didn't make it." Kwest said sadly. As much as Kwest didn't like Miles and as long as he wasn't pleased with Jude and her decisions, he still loved and cared for her like a little sister. Jude looked up at him instantly.

"What?" she asked softly, the pain of his words showing in her eyes.

"Miles uh… Miles was speeding and he took a turn to sharp, making the bike skid on the asphalt. He uh… ended up being pinned between the bike and the wall. He wasn't wearing his helmet and he hit his head pretty hard. By the time they got him to the hospital there was too much internal bleeding and they couldn't save him." Kwest stated.

"Uh whe… uh when did this happen?" Jude stuttered. Tears were slowly falling down her cheeks as her body began to shake.

"Um, the police went looking for you at NBR after they couldn't get a hold of you. Sadie talked to them then left to come find you. After she couldn't, she called me asking me to look for you over here. Jude, I'm so sorry. I know I never got along with Miles but I knew deep down that he was making you happy. I'm so sorry." He said again.

At this point Jude was full out sobbing. Tommy left his chair and went to her, wanting to hold her in his arms and take away the pain. The moment he touched her, she pulled away and stood up.

"No, don't touch me. Just stay far away from me." She said, taking a few steps away from him.

"Jude, I know the situation between us is bad, but let me help you. Comfort you. Please." Tommy pleaded. Jude faced him with tears on her face.

"No. I… I need to be alone. Kwest, can you take me home?" he nodded and got up from the couch and led Jude to the front door, Tommy followed. Before Jude walked out, she turned to Tommy and hugged him. "I'm sorry Tommy. I need to be alone for awhile." She whispered in his ear. She felt him nod.

"Please call me if you need anything. I love you." He whispered back and gently kissed her on the cheek. Kwest watched their interaction, feeling out of place. Jude walked out the door, Kwest right behind her but then stopped and turned to Tommy.

"I'm going to drop her off at home and then I'll come back here so we can talk." Kwest stated and shut the door.

* * *

Sadie had finally left Jude alone. Jude cried for hours on Sadie's shoulder, telling her the things she had done with Tommy and every single argument she had with Miles. How much she regretted how she was treating Miles with so much hostility the last few weeks. She loved him. And now he was gone. She still didn't tell Sadie that she was pregnant. She'd tell her later when she wasn't so heartbroken and stressed.

At 11 PM Jude walked up the stairs to bedroom she had shared with Miles. She stared at the bed, remembering all the times that she and Miles had stayed up most of the nights making love and talking. She remembered being in his strong arms talking to him about how much she loved him, making him believe she was over Tommy. The first night they had been together intimately, how she cried the next morning because she wasn't over Tommy, but Miles had made her feel better.

Jude walked to the dresser and pulled out a pair of boxer shorts and a tank top and changed, throwing her day clothes into the hamper in the corner. She went into the bathroom to wash her face and brush her teeth. As she was pulling her hair into a messy bun, she caught sight of the big bathtub reflecting in the mirror. She remembered all the long leisurely baths that she and Miles had took, both of them soaking in the hot water until they were pruned or until the water turned cold. She remembered the way Miles kissed her back softly as he gently washed her back with the sponge. Jude finished with what she went in there to do and left, walking back into the bedroom.

Jude was extremely tired but knew she wouldn't sleep well. Miles had kept a bottle of sleeping pills in the drawer of his nightstand. Jude walked over to it and slowly opened the drawer hoping to find the pill bottle but instead found an envelope with her name on it. Jude picked it up and opened the envelope, holding her breath. She took out a card that said HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY! Mother's day wasn't until the next week. Jude opened the card and a folded piece of paper fell out. Miles' handwriting was scrawled on the inside.

_To my wife Jude,_

_I know that we just found out that you're pregnant, but I couldn't wait to do something like this for you. I'm so proud knowing that you are going to be the mother of my child. You are going to be a wonderful mother, I have no doubt about that. I love you with all my heart._

_Your husband,_

_Miles_

Jude sat down on the bed hard and started to cry. She remembered the folded piece of paper and unfolded it to stare down at lyrics. The date at the top of the page was dated for that day.

_Apologize_

_I'm holding on your rope  
Got me ten feet off the ground  
And I'm hearing what you say  
But I just can't make a sound  
You tell me that you need me  
Then you go and cut me down  
But wait...  
You tell me that you're sorry  
Didn't think I'd turn around and say.._

_That it's too late to apologize, it's too late  
I said it's too late to apologize, it's too late_

_I'd take another chance, take a fall, take a shot for you  
And I need you like a heart needs a beat  
(But that's nothing new)  
Yeah yeah_

_I loved you with a fire red, now it's turning blue  
And you say  
Sorry like an angel, heavens not the thing for you,  
But I'm afraid_

_It's too late to apologize, it's too late  
I said it's too late to apologizes, it's too late  
Woahooo woah_

_It's too late to apologize, it's too late  
I said it's too late to apologize, it's too late  
I said it's too late to apologize, yeah yeah  
I said it's too late to apologize, a yeah_

_I'm holding on your rope  
Got me ten feet off the ground..._

_Jude-_

_Like the song says…it's too late to apologize. I can never forgive you for cheating on me. Is the baby even mine? I'm leaving, though I'm not sure for how long. When I come home we can talk about this and hopefully save our marriage. I love you._

_-Miles_

"Oh God, What have I done?" Jude asked herself. Jude went back into the drawer and found the bottle of sleeping pills. She opened the bottle and poured some into her hand. She counted 13 pills. She swallowed one at a time with out drinking water, finding the taste awful, but felt she deserved it. When she popped the last pill, she laid down on the bed and clutched the card and lyrics to her chest and closed her eyes.

*Apologize by OneRepublic


	15. Chapter 12

12

When Your Gone

Tommy had sudden urges to see Jude. He walked to the front door of her townhouse and knocked on it. He looked at his watch. It was just after midnight, she was most likely sleeping. He tried the doorknob out of curiosity and the door opened. Tommy slowly walked through the entryway, silently closing the door and slowly went up the stairs hoping he wouldn't make a lot of noise. He walked quietly toward the bedroom, noticing that the bedroom light was on.

"Jude?" he called out. No answer. He opened the bedroom door slowly and poked his head in. Jude was lying on the bed holding something to her chest. Tommy walked into the bedroom fully and went to her. He noticed that her breathing was shallow. Tommy also noticed a pill bottle on the nightstand and picked it up. It was empty. "Oh Jude, please tell me you didn't." he said painfully.

He picked Jude up into his arms and carried her lifeless body into the bathroom. He set her down on the cold tile and opened the toilet cover and poised her head over the toilet bowl. He kneeled down next to her and held her head.

Tommy opened her mouth and stuck his finger deep down into her throat hoping that it was enough to induce vomiting. Her head jerked up a bit as the bile poured out of her mouth. He held her head over the bowl as she vomited. Tommy held her close to him as he pulled out his phone to call for an ambulance and then called Kwest and Sadie. He kept making her vomit until she dry heaved.

At that point the paramedics had arrived and Tommy had yelled for them from the bathroom. They barged in with a gurney and pulled Jude onto it, taking her vital signs and hooking up an IV. A third paramedic approached Tommy and asked what had been done and if he knew what pills she took. Tommy gave the paramedic the empty pill bottle and told them he had made her vomit and also warned them that she was 7 weeks pregnant.

Kwest and Sadie arrived as they were putting Jude into the ambulance.

"Tommy, what happened?" Sadie asked, running to him.

"She was trying to overdose on sleeping pills." Was all that Tommy could get out.

"Was someone going to ride with her?" one of the paramedics asked.

"You go Sadie, Kwest and I are going to be right behind you." Tommy said sadly. Sadie hopped into the back of the ambulance and it drove away with the sirens blaring.

"Come on, I'll drive." Kwest offered.

"Hold on. I got to get something." Tommy said and went back into the townhouse. He went back into the bedroom and picked up the card and letter that he pulled away from Jude before taking her into the bathroom. He sat on the bed and read them, understanding why she did it. She felt so much guilt and pain, he probably would've done the same thing if he was in her position.

* * *

Tommy sat next to the hospital bed holding onto Jude's hand. She had been asleep for 2 hours. Jude's hand twitched in Tommy's as he sat silently next to her bed, hoping and praying that she and her unborn child would be okay.

Jude slowly opened her eyes. She groaned as the light in the room blinded her. She lifted her head and groaned again when her head started to pound.

"Jude?" she heard. She opened her eyes slowly again and focused on the person holding her hand. Tommy's face came clear to her and she saw the fear in his eyes. Jude looked around the hospital room for a minute, trying to remember why she was there. The last memory she could recollect was of her sitting on her and Miles' bed. She was reading a mother's day card, but she remembered that shw wasn't as happy as she should've been, she was crying and screaming inside. Miles' voice popped in her head.

_I know that we just found out that you're pregnant, but I couldn't wait to do something like this for you. I'm so proud knowing that you are going to be the mother of my child. You are going to be a wonderful mother, I have no doubt about that. I love you with all my heart. _

She was pregnant. She had to talk to Miles.

"Jude?" she heard again. She focused her eyes on Tommy again as he stood up from the chair and sat on the edge of her bed, never letting go of her hand.

"Tommy" she whispered. "Where's Miles? I need to talk to Miles." Tommy looked at her confusingly.

"Jude, Miles is gone." He said softly.

"Oh. Well, do you know when he'll be back?" she asked again. Tommy closed his eyes and shook his head.

"No, Jude. He's not coming back. Miles died in a motorcycle accident." He said, his eyes full of pain.

_Not coming back? Died in a motorcycle accident?_

Then it hit her. She remembered why she was in the hospital. Flashes of herself taking a handful of pills and swallowing one by one flew through her brain. Then Miles' voice echoed in her mind again.

_Like the song says…it's too late to apologize. I can never forgive you for cheating on me. Is the baby even mine? I'm leaving, though I'm not sure for how long. When I come home we can talk about this and hopefully save our marriage. I love you._

"I cheated on him." Jude whispered to herself. She looked up at Tommy and he was slightly nodding his head in agreement. "I cheated on him with you." She stated. Tommy looked her in the eyes and nodded again.

Suddenly, Jude was up and pushing Tommy away from her.

"Get away from me!" she screamed at him.

"Jude, you don't understand." He pleaded. He was a few feet away from her bed, shaking his head in disbelief.

"I understand perfectly clear! I cheated on Miles with you! He found out and then killed himself! He killed himself because of me!" she cried. Tommy took a few steps toward her until she held her arm out to stop him. "Don't come near me! Stay away from me!" she screamed again. Jude collapsed back onto the bed and laid back with exhaustion. Tears were streaming from her cheeks. A nurse walked in quickly.

"Is everything alright in here?" she asked suspiciously.

"Get him out of here!" Jude said angrily.

"Jude, please." He said sadly.

"Sir, I'm going to have to ask you to leave." The nurse turned on him.

Tommy bowed his head in defeat and turned to walk out of the room.

As Tommy walked down the hallway, he came up to Sadie and Kwest talking with the doctor. As soon as Sadie saw him she walked up to him angrily.

"You knew Jude was pregnant and you nor her told me or Kwest? What the hell is wrong with you? We could've prevented this? If I knew, I would've stayed with her all night and this wouldn't have happened!" she screamed at him. Kwest came up behind her and put his arms around her to restrain her in some way.

"Is the baby okay?" Tommy asked sadly. Sadie looked up at him confusingly, almost disappointedly as if she were waiting for him to retaliate against her.

"Yes. The baby is fine. Apparently you got to her fast enough that only a little bit was actually absorbed into the blood stream. There was nothing left in her stomach to pump out because you had already made her… you know." Sadie stated sadly.

"Yeah. Well, she's awake. You might want to go see her. She's angry with me and she kicked me out. So, I'm going to go home for a few hours and then I'll be back." He said with a wink and walked away.

* * *

Four days later….

Jude sat in a chair just a few feet away from the casket that caged her husband. On her right was her father. He had his arm around her shoulders as she laid her head against him. On her left sat Sadie, holding Jude's hand. On the other side of Sadie sat Kwest, sitting still and looking forward. Sean was standing at the head of the casket behind a podium, giving Miles' eulogy. The priest stood up after Sean was done and took his place behind the podium.

"Before we say our final goodbye to Miles Andrew Davenport, his wife would like to say her own goodbye in a way she deems necessary."

Jude slowly stood up from the chair and walked over to a piano that was set up near the casket. She took a seat on the cushioned bench and laid her fingers lightly across the keys. As Jude played the intro to her song, she quickly glanced toward the back of the cemetery and noticed a dark figure standing on a low hill, the twilight sun setting behind him, outlining his presence.

_I always needed time on my own  
I never thought I'd need you there when I cry  
And the days feel like years when I'm alone  
And the bed where you lie  
Is made up on your side_

_When you walk away  
I count the steps that you take  
Do you see how much I need you right now?_

_When you're gone  
The pieces of my heart are missing you  
When you're gone  
The face I came to know is missing too  
When you're gone  
The words I need to hear to always get me through the day  
And make it OK  
I miss you_

_I've never felt this way before  
Everything that I do  
Reminds me of you  
And the clothes you left  
they lie on the floor  
And they smell just like you  
I love the things that you do_

_When you walk away  
I count the steps that you take_

_Do you see how much I need you right now?_

_When you're gone  
The pieces of my heart are missing you  
When you're gone  
The face I came to know is missing too  
And when you're gone  
The words I need to hear to always get me through the day  
And make it OK  
I miss you_

_We were made for each other  
Out here forever  
I know we were  
Yeah Yeah_

_And all I ever wanted it was for you to know  
Everything I do I give my heart and soul  
I can hardly breathe, I need to feel you here with me  
Yeah_

_When you're gone  
The pieces of my heart are missing you  
When you're gone  
The face I came to know is missing too  
When you're gone  
The words I need to hear will always get me through the day  
And make it OK  
I miss you_

As Jude finished the last few notes on the piano, tears streamed down her face. She took her shaky hands off of the piano keys and took a deep breath before she stood. Her legs quaked with sorrow as she walked back to the row of chairs toward her family. Stuart, Sadie, and Kwest stood up from their seats and waited patiently as Jude walked back to them. Other mourners slowly made their way to Jude to offer their condolences.

After the last mourner left, Jude requested to her family that she wanted a few moments alone with Miles before the casket was lowered into the ground. Jude kneeled down onto the grass in front of the casket and laid her hands on the lid as she lowered her head against the cool mahogany.

"I'm so sorry Miles." She sniffed. "I'm sorry that I was a bad wife and so far I have already failed being a good mother to your child. I was reckless and stupid. My last vow to you as your wife will be to take care of our child with the utmost love and care. They will know who their father is and they will know what a great man he was. Before I leave, I just wanted you to know that I never cheated on you while we were married. And I know from the bottom of my heart that the child I am carrying is yours. There's no doubt about it. I love you. And I'm sorry." She whispered and kissed the smooth wood. She stood up slowly and turned to walk away.

* * *

Tommy stood on the low hill watching the funeral end. He saw that Jude was the last one left. Tommy watched as she kneeled on the ground and put her hands on the casket and laid her head against it. He knew what she was going through. And it wasn't good. After everything that had happened with Angie, he knew all to well what she was going through. Losing the one you love. He knew she loved Miles, but not the same way she loved him and he knew he needed her to see it soon, especially with a baby on the way. Even if the baby wasn't his, he'd still want to be apart of his or her life. Watching Jude walk away from the casket and make her way to a black limousine, Tommy started to walk slowly over to the funeral site.

There he stood in front of the casket. He bowed his head in silence for a few moments before lifting his head and taking off his sunglasses.

"I know that what Jude and I did was unforgivable. But I love her. We both do, and even though you pulled her away from me, I just want to say thank you for being there for her and loving and taking care of her when I clearly couldn't. I'm sorry for being an asshole about your relationship. She did what I asked her to do and when I came back I tried to get her to come back to me, and I ended up ruining one of the good things in her life. You did nothing but good to her. I see that now. I've done nothing but screw her life up, multiple times. I've been nothing but a big emotional train wreck to her. Before I leave, I just want to promise you that if I get her, if we end up together, I will take care of her. And if the baby is yours, I'll take care of him or her too. And I'll make sure that they know who their real father is whether Jude and I are together or not. I guess the last thing to say is good bye. Good bye Miles, may you rest in peace."

*When you're gone; by Kelly Clarkson


	16. Chapter 13

13

All Fall Down

T_hree weeks after the funeral…_

Jude sat in her swivel chair in front of the soundboard, listening to the track she just got done laying out. The violin composition was what got to her the most. She was glad that she knew someone who played violin so she wouldn't had to have brought in some outsider who didn't understand her views. Thank God that Shawn was multi-talented. The track ended and Jude looked at the time on her cell. _I can listen to it one more time before Sadie comes and picks me up for my doctor's appointment. _Jude leaned over and pushed the button to restart the song. The melody of the guitar started and then after a few moments the violin started and gave her chills along her spine.

Tommy walked through G-Major, hoping to not run into Darius. He had come on the behalf of Sadie. She had to take Jude to her doctor's appointment but had got caught up in a last-minute PR emergency. Jamie would have been second choice but he had the same emergency as Sadie. Kwest would've been third but he was in the middle of a session. So Sadie turned to Tommy as a last resort. Tommy took the chance and drove over to G-Major in hopes that Jude would accept him. He walked to her usual studio and listened to the guitar grooves come out of the doorway. He took a few minutes to stand in the entryway and listen. A violin started to play and a string of chills ran up his spine._ Violin? _He never knew Jude to be a classical strings person, but the violin fit the song beautifully.

_Step out the door and it feels like rain  
That's the sound (that's the sound) on your window pane  
Take to the streets but you can't ignore  
That's the sound (that's the sound) you're waiting for_

_You feel that your will starts crashing down  
Whenever you're will starts crashing down  
Whenever your will starts crashing down  
That's when you find me._

_Yeah God love your soul and your aching bones  
Take a breath, take a step, maybe down below  
Everyone's the same  
My fingers to my toes  
We just can't get a ride  
But we're on the road_

_If ever your will starts crashing down  
Whenever your will starts crashing down  
Whenever your will starts crashing down  
That's when you find me._

_Chorus:_

_(Yeah) Lost til you're found  
Swim til you drown_

_Know that we all fall down  
Love til you hate  
Jump til you break  
Know that we all fall down_

_If ever your will starts crashing down  
Whenever your will starts crashing down  
If ever your will starts crashing down  
That's when you'll find (find) me_

_Lost til you're found  
Swim til you drown  
Know that we all fall down  
Love til you hate  
Jump til you break  
Know that we all fall down_

_All fall down, we all fall down, all fall down  
We all fall down, all fall down, all fall down_

_Lost til you're found  
Swim til you drown  
Know that we all fall down  
Love til you hate  
Jump til you break  
Know that we all fall down _

"Wow. That song was amazing." Tommy said softly, walking into the studio. Jude swiftly turned around in her chair and stared at him in surprise.

"Tommy, what are you doing here?" she asked, looking away and prepared to shut down the soundboard.

"Uh, Sadie couldn't make it. There was a last minute PR Emergency and Andrews had to be there as well, and Kwest is in the middle of a session. So that's why I'm here. But unless you don't want me here, I'll leave." He said, slowly walking toward her.

"No. You can take me. Just let me finish up here and grab my stuff." She said softly, while pushing buttons. Tommy sat on the couch and patiently waited. When Jude got out of the chair, she went to the couch and retrieved her bag and sweater. "Okay, ready?"

"Whenever you are." He stated, standing up from the couch. Jude followed him out of the studio and to the parking lot where his hummer was waiting. Tommy opened the door for her and helped her in before getting in on the driver's side. He buckled his seatbelt and looked at Jude. "So, where is your doctor's office?"

"Oh, it's across the street from Toronto General." She replied softly, looking out the window. Tommy turned out of the parking lot and headed towards the hospital. The awkward silence in the car was getting to Tommy. He turned on the radio but kept the volume low.

"So, what gave you the idea to use violin in your song?" he asked, glancing at her. Jude was silent for a few moments before answering his question.

"It was Miles' idea. We had a strong partnership with music. Ever since we had gotten together, I would write the lyrics and he would do the music. When I wrote _All Fall Down_, Miles said that violin would sound perfect for it…" She trailed off. They were quiet for the remainder of the car ride. Tommy pulled into the office building parking lot and put the hummer in neutral. Jude undid her seatbelt and opened the door. After hopping out of the vehicle, she turned to Tommy who was still sitting in the driver's seat. "Well, are you coming or not?" Tommy looked at her dumbfounded and slowly unbuckled his seatbelt, jumped out and followed Jude into the building. On their way through the lobby and toward the elevators, Tommy broke the silence.

"I wasn't sure if you wanted me to come with you or not." He stated softly. Jude turned to him and took his hand as they stood still waiting for the elevator. She looked up at him and smiled softly.

"I'm sorry for the way I acted while I was in the hospital. I was scared and unsure of everything. I just want to thank you for not giving up on me." She replied as the elevator doors opened. Tommy led her in, still holding her hand.

"It's okay. I understand. You know I'd do anything for you. I meant what I said before, when you first found out that you were pregnant. I'll be here to take care of you and the baby." Tommy let go of her hand and put his arm around her shoulders and pulled her close to him. Jude stepped closer to him and wrapped both of her arms around his middle and laid her head on his chest, reveling in his warmth and scent. Fortunately enough for her, his cologne was one of few scents that didn't make her nauseous. After a few moments, the elevator reached their floor and opened. Tommy let go of her and took her hand again as she led him down the hall to her doctor's office. After walking in, Jude pointed to a few chairs in the corner of the waiting room to Tommy has she went up to the receptionist to check in.

Tommy sat down on a love seat and looked at the glass coffee table that was completely covered with parenting and pregnancy magazines. He picked up a pregnancy magazine and skimmed the pages that showed facts of a developing fetus. Jude walked over to him and sat down next to him.

"So, you're about ten weeks along, right?" he questioned.

"Yeah." She replied as she picked up a parenting magazine and skimmed its contents. Tommy looked through the pregnancy magazine carefully and looked for the tenth week facts. "What are you reading?" Jude asked, putting her magazine back on the coffee table.

"Facts about the tenth week." He stated just as a nurse walked into the waiting room holding a clip board.

"Jude Harrison?" Jude stood up and reached down to grab Tommy's hand and urged him to go with her. He looked at her with surprise on his face and then smiled brightly. They followed the nurse through the door and was led into an exam room. The nurse, who Jude remembered from her first initial visit was named Sarah, a nice older woman in her mid-thirties, who you can tell loved her job, turned to Jude and held out a plastic cup. "I just need you to fill this up. The bathroom is through that door." The nurse pointed and Jude went in. A few minutes later, Jude emerged with the cup and handed it back to the nurse. Sarah stuck a paper strip into the urine and pulled it back out after a few seconds.

"What does that do?" Tommy asked from the chair he was sitting in. Sarah answered him as she poured the urine down the sink and took off her gloves and washed her hands.

"The strip tells us how much protein and glucose she has. We do this to make sure she has enough protein in her diet and how much glucose she has so we can prevent gestational diabetes."

"Oh." Tommy replied thoughtfully.

"All right Jude, step up on the scale so we can weigh you." Sarah said politely. Jude stood up on the scale and Sarah maneuvered the slides across. "Okay, you can step down." She said as she took the clip board and wrote down the results. "Looks like you gained a pound from your last visit. Just hop up on the table and I'll take your blood pressure." Jude did as she asked and held out her arm so Sarah could put the cuff on. After pumping the blood pressure cuff, Sarah took it off and wrote it on her clip board. "Your blood pressure is good. Just sit tight for a little bit and Dr. Matthews will be with you shortly." she said and left.

"Wow, we've only been in here for fifteen minutes and they've already done more to you than I thought." Tommy admonished as he stared at Jude as she sat on the examination table. She hopped off of the table and walked to him and sat down in the chair next to him.

"Before the doctor comes in, I just want ask you a favor."

"Anything."

"I want you to know that I'm not going to stop you from helping me and taking care of me." She stated while she took hold of his hand. "What I mean is, that if you still want to be around me while I'm all fat and pregnant and if you want to come to my doctors appointments and even if you want to be in the same room with me while I give birth…. I'm not going to stop you. My favor is that if you want to take care of me like you say you do, all I ask is that you give me space when I ask for it."

Tommy's eyes lit up with happiness. Now was his time. Now was his chance to truly show Jude what he'd been wanting to do ever since he came home from Asia. To show her how much he really loved and cared about her.

"Now before we continue I just need you to know that we are just friends." Jude continued. Tommy's smile faltered some. "I'm not saying that I don't need you. And I'm not saying that we won't be a 'we' again someday. I just need you to know that I'm still mourning Miles. I still go to sleep crying every night and listening to his voice in my head and his music in the CD player." She said sadly as tears slowly fell down her cheeks. Tommy leaned over and pulled her into his arms.

"Jude, it's okay. I understand. Without Miles here, you need the support that he would've given you. I love you Jude, and I'm going to be here for you no matter what." He whispered in her ear and kissed her temple.

"Thank you." She whispered back and laid her head on his shoulder. After a few moments of holding each other, Dr. Matthews walked in.

"Hello Jude. How are you feeling today?" The doctor asked as she walked to the counter and pulled a few latex gloves out of a box.

"I'm doing better. I'm sleeping better and keeping myself distracted for the most part. Morning sickness is still there but other than that I'm doing okay." Jude replied while getting back up on the examination table.

"Do you still feel as stressed as you were when Miles passed?" She asked cautiously. Jude glanced over at Tommy.

"No. I have a really great support system. My family and friends have been helping a lot." Jude said with a small smile. Dr. Matthews, a woman in her late forties looked over at Tommy with a look of interest on her face. She had read the tabloids and heard the other doctors and nurses talk about her patient the moment they found out she was coming to that office for her appointments. She too secretly wondered if Jude had an affair with Tommy and whether or not the baby belonged to the ex-boy bander or the deceased husband. Jude spoke up again when she noticed her doctor taking interest in Tommy. "Dr. Matthews, this is my friend, Tom Quincy." Tommy smiled and nodded. Dr. Matthews turned back to Jude.

"All right Jude. I just need you to lay back and pull up your shirt. We're going to an ultrasound to see how the baby is developing." She said as she squirted cold gel on Jude's stomach. Jude waved Tommy over to her and took his hand just as Dr. Matthews put the doppler wand on her stomach. All three turned to the screen and watched the dark shapes take form. "Jude, I'd like you to meet your baby." Dr. Matthews said with a smile. She pointed to the screen and continued to talk. "Here is the head. And this right here is the hands and here are the feet. Jude, your baby is developing wonderfully. Looks like he or she is between 27-35 mm crown to rump length or 1.06-1.38 inches. He or she weighs in at 4 grams, or 4 paper clips. Some other facts about your baby this week are that of the tiny toes having been formed. The eyes are largely open, but the eyelids are beginning to fuse, and will stay that way until you are 25-27 weeks along. External genitalia is beginning to differentiate. External ears are completely formed, as well as the upper lip. The biggest accomplishment this week is the disappearance of the tail!" Dr. Matthews exclaimed with a smile. Jude and Tommy laughed as they both stared at the screen in awe.

"That's your baby." Tommy whispered to Jude and kissed her forehead.

"Yeah." Jude whispered back happily and smiled at him.

* * *

"Wow. I can't believe it. It doesn't even look human but it's incredible!" Jude admonished excitedly as she and Tommy were walking back to the elevators while looking at the ultrasound photos. They stopped in front of the elevator doors and Tommy pushed the button and then pulled Jude into a hug while they waited.

As they walked toward the lobby doors that led out to the parking lot, they could hear a lot of talking and shouting.

"Here they come!" They heard from right outside the door and started to see flashes of light. Tommy quickly, but gently, pulled Jude off to the side and away from the glass doors.

"Oh my God! How did they find out that we were here?" Jude asked stressfully. Tommy took her face in his hands and looked into her eyes.

"Look. I'll go out there and pull up in the hummer and then I'll come back in here to get you. Okay?" He looked into her fear filled eyes as she nodded and bit her lower lip. He made her sit down in a group of chairs hiding from the doors and bent down to kiss her forehead. "I'll be right back. Stay right here." He ordered and braced himself for the onslaught.

He walked through the doors as the vultures and leeches shouted out their questions.

"Is it true that Jude is pregnant?"

"Did Jude have an affair with you while she was married?"

"Is the baby yours?"

"If not, are you going to adopt it?"

The screaming and shouting didn't stop when he jumped into the hummer and started the engine. People with flashing cameras bombarded the vehicle. He couldn't move forward unless he ran over someone, which he wouldn't have minded, but he needed to get Jude out of there. After a few minutes of revving the engine loudly and them not moving an inch, he started to honk the horn long and continuously. They finally started to make a path for him as he crept his big vehicle up to the glass doors. As he hopped out of the running hummer, they swarmed him again as he ran back into the lobby to retrieve Jude. He found her where he left her; she was still looking at the ultrasound photos with a small smile.

"Are you ready? Here, put these on." He said, handing her his sunglasses. She stood up and took a deep breath.

"Ready when you are." She replied. Tommy encircled his arms around her and kept her head low. They walked though doors and into the crowd, Tommy keeping Jude covered with his body as much as he could. They got to the hummer and he opened the door for her, helping her inside. Thank god his windows were tinted. He pushed himself through the crowd until he got to the driver's side and hopped in. He turned to Jude and gave her an exasperated smile. He put the hummer into drive and slowly pulled out of the parking lot and into the street.

"Are you okay?" he asked, taking her hand. She nodded and looked down at the pictures in her lap. She let go of his hand and flipped through the pictures again.

"Oh no." she said in a panic and flipped through the pictures numerous times.

"What? What's the problem?" He asked, looking over at her grief-stricken face.

"One of the pictures is missing. Oh God! I hope I didn't drop it in the middle of that crowd." She muttered to herself.

*All Fall Down; by OneRepublic


End file.
